


Love Burns

by dante_s_hell



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Firefighters, Alternate Universe - Police, Bottom Jensen Ackles, Community: spn_meanttobe, Harlequin, Hurt Jensen Ackles, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Protective Jared Padalecki, Temporary Amnesia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-07
Updated: 2019-05-25
Packaged: 2020-02-28 05:17:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 26,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18749773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dante_s_hell/pseuds/dante_s_hell
Summary: Jensen is a firefighter with a close knit group of friends. One night, he's called to fight a fire at a friend's house and he witnesses a murder. Only he doesn't remember. His best friend, Detective Jared Padalecki, decides Jensen needs his protection. Over the course of the investigation, Jared and Jensen realize their feelings for each other have changed. They are growing closer, but will a murderer intent on killing Jensen halt their burgeoning relationship in its tracks?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Character Death. Neither of the J's.

The ball thumped hard against the concrete, a nice steady tattoo, as Jensen drove toward the hoop. He took no notice of the heavy Texas heat, the bright sun in the cloudless sky, or the sweat pouring down his face. None of that mattered. He wanted badly to score, but he had to get past the obstacle in his way.

Jared zigzagged in front of him, palm out and held high. "No way are you getting past me, Ackles," he growled.

"Watch me," Jensen returned, dodging around Jared and flying down the basketball court.

"Don't think so!" Jared was in his face again, getting into his space, and trying to steal the ball.

Jensen pivoted hard on his right foot, trying to sidestep his friend.

Jared lunged for the ball.

Jensen's eyes narrowed. There was only one way around the sasquatch in front of him. He knocked into Jared's shoulder, increased his speed, and did a smooth lay up, scoring the final point of their one-on-one game. "Who's the man? I am!" Jensen crowed.

"You cheated!" Jared accused, but his eyes were sparkling with laughter.

"We always cheat," Jensen retorted, wiping the sweat from his brow.

"No, you always cheat," Jared said. "I play by the rules."

"Yeah, right," Jensen snorted. "Pull the other one, Padalecki. You're just jealous that I'm faster than you."

"Faster?" Jared lifted a brow. "I'll show you who's faster." He lunged at Jensen and the race was on.

They ran all over the court; Jared chasing Jensen.

"Whoa, whoa," Jensen gasped, careening into the goal post. He held his hands up in surrender." No more."

"Wimp," Jared laughed, hands darting in and landing on Jensen's exposed sides. He began to tickle Jensen, showing no mercy.

"No. Stop," Jensen squirmed helplessly as Jared continued his assault. He couldn't stop laughing and he couldn't catch his breath. "Come on, Jay. Cut...it...out," he managed, collapsing against Jared.

Jared threw his arm around Jensen, hauling him into a half-nelson and ruffling his sweat-soaked hair. "Ask for mercy!"

Jensen lightly smacked Jared in the stomach.

"Hey, no fair!" Jared cried, laughing.

"All's fair in love and war!" Jensen sallied back. "Let me go you neanderthal!"

"Neanderthal?" Jared cried out in mock outrage. "I'll show you neanderthal. Don't think I won't drag you back to my lair by your hair, Jen."

The image took Jensen by surprise and he swallowed hard. Jared was always teasing him, had done so since they were kids, but lately there were things that he said that sparked a low heat in Jensen's belly.

"Jensen?" Jared asked, straightening him up and looking into his eyes. "You with me?"

"Yes," Jensen responded, looking away. He was still pressed tight to Jared's side. "Think you can let me go now, man? Kinda thirsty."

Jared pulled back. His gaze was unreadable. "You sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" Jensen asked defensively.

"You went quiet all of a sudden," Jared responded slowly. "And I think your face is flushed."

"'Course it's flushed," Jensen retorted with a roll of his eyes. "We've been playing basketball for the last two hours!"

Jared shook his head. "No, there's something different. I can tell. I just don't know why."

Jensen knew, but he wasn't about to enlighten Jared. Their friendship was special to him. No way would he ruin it by telling Jared that he had the sudden desire to kiss him. "We should probably call it quits for today. It's damn hot out here," he said, grabbing a bottle of water and taking a drink.

"Jensen," Jared said quietly, taking a step closer.

Jared never knew when to quit. Always worried over things like a dog with a bone. It was what made him a great detective.

Right now, Jensen was wishing Jared wasn't so good at analyzing clues and ferreting out the truth.  
"Don't you have a date with Genevieve tonight?" Jensen said hastily.

Jared looked startled. "Huh? Oh, yeah, I do. Can't believe I forgot." He checked his watch. "Shit! I don't have much time before I have to pick her up."

"You should probably go home and shower," Jensen said, feeling a little relieved that he'd managed to sidestep Jared. "Sweaty is probably not the look you're goin' for."

"How do you know she doesn't like me all sweaty?" Jared drawled.

Jensen's heart did a little flip-flop and he couldn't help but drag his eyes over Jared's well-toned, sweat-slicked body. He bit the inside of his cheek to keep from moaning aloud.

"There you go again, spacing out on me," Jared muttered. "What's up with you?"

"N—nothing," Jensen stammered, tearing his eyes away from Jared. "Come on. Let's head on out, Cassanova."

Jared touched his shoulder and Jensen turned to look at him. There was something in Jared's eyes that made them look almost wistful.

Jensen felt himself lifting his arm, reaching out toward Jared, and he couldn't stop himself. 

Something about Jared's expression called to him. "Jared," he murmured, voice thick.

Jared shifted on his feet, closing the distance between them. "Jensen."

Jensen's cell phone rang. The tone was harsh and jarring, breaking into their personal bubble and destroying the mood.

With a sigh of disappointment, Jensen grabbed up his phone and answered it. "Ackles," he frowned. "Tom? What's up?"

There was a derisive snort from Jared and Jensen looked up just in time to see the shuttered look on Jared's face.

"Listen, Tom, I can't talk right now," Jensen spoke quickly, watching as Jared turned away. "No, Tom. Enough!" Jensen said angrily. "I'm hanging up now, man."

Jensen disconnected and tossed his phone back into his gym bag. "Jared," he started to say.

"Why's he still calling you?" Jared asked in a tight voice, turning to look at Jensen.

Jensen was taken aback by the grimness that had settled over Jared's features. Jared and Tom had never seen eye to eye. In fact, they were barely civil to each other, and Jensen suspected that was only because Jared was doing it for Jensen. "Uh, I don't know."

Jared frowned. "You two broke up a month ago. How many times does he call you?"

"We're still...sort of friends," Jensen said, not really wanting to answer Jared's question.

"Bullshit," Jared muttered. "He was sleeping around on you, Jensen, or don't you remember that? Because I certainly do. I was there, remember? Making sure you ate. Got enough sleep."

"I remember," Jensen said softly, not really proud of those dark days. Jared had been there for him. His rock. Always the steadfast friend who bolstered him when he felt at his worst, his weakest. Jensen didn't know what he'd do without Jared. "Look, it was a bad break up. But when are they ever good?"

"Answer the damn question, Jensen," Jared growled. "How many times?"

"Couple of times a week," Jensen reluctantly admitted. "Maybe a little more than that."

Jared's eyes narrowed. "Stalking is a punishable offense. I can send a squad car out there if you want me to."

"No!" Jensen shouted, feeling mortified. "That's not it at all, Jared. Tom knows he made a mistake and he's apologized."

"And that's supposed to make things better?" Jared asked in disbelief. "What? You gonna fall back into bed with him now?"

"Fuck you, Jared," Jensen snarled. He wasn't sure where this was coming from, but like hell would he put up with this shit. "None of your goddamned business."

"It is my business," Jared growled. "You're my best friend!"

"Then trust me," Jensen said. "I know what I'm doing."

"Do you?" Jared asked. "That man hurt you, Jensen. I don't want to see it happen again."

"I know you're just trying to look out for me," Jensen said, tone softening. "I get it."

"Good, I'm glad," Jared said. "You should stay away from him, Jen. He's bad news."

Even though Jensen understood, he still felt irritation. Best friend or not, Jared could be a little overbearing. "He just wants to be friends, Jay."

"Guys like that don't want to be just friends," Jared said.

"Guys like that?" Jensen repeated. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

Jared looked at him in exasperation. "You know damn well what it means."

Jensen gritted his teeth. "Enough, Jay. Just leave it alone. I know what I'm doing."

"I sure hope you do," Jared replied, swinging his bag onto his shoulder.

"I do," Jensen repeated, "but it's nice to know you're lookin' out for me."

Jared smiled at him. "Always, man. Always."

~.~.~

 

Jensen listened as Chris played a few notes on his guitar. "What do you think?"

They were sitting together in Chris' living room. The sun was just going down. Neither of them had bothered to turn on any lights, but that was okay. It was peaceful and quiet. Something Jensen needed after a twenty-four hour shift at a bustling fire station.

"I like it," Jensen said.

Chris nodded. "Thought I could use it as a bridge for the song I'm workin' on."

"Can't wait to hear it when you're finished," Jensen said enthusiastically.

Chris smiled at him. "You woulda made a damn fine cheerleader."

"Naw." Jensen returned the smile. "Don't look good in a skirt."

"I don't know about that, Jen," Chris drawled, setting aside his guitar. "I'm sure you'd look good in just about anything."

"That a proposition?" Jensen asked coyly, arching a brow.

Chris laughed. "No fuckin' way, man. Even if I played for the same team, I know better than to poach on another man's territory."

Jensen frowned. "Another man's territory? Um, Chris, there is no other man."

"Sure there is," Chris said. "Jared."

Jensen gaped at him. "What? No, man. That's not how it is between us."

"It's the way it should be," Chris responded. "You two are the perfect couple. You just don't see it."

"Jared has a girlfriend," Jensen protested.

"And how's that workin' out?" Chris asked shrewdly.

Jensen looked uncomfortable. "Fine, I guess. I don't really see her that often."

Chris quirked a brow. "Doesn't that tell you somethin', Jen?"

"Tells me that we're all pretty busy," Jensen responded, knowing it was a lame answer.

Chris shook his head. "Blind. The two of you. Fuckin' blind." He stood up. "He bringin' her to the party tomorrow?"

Jensen hesitated. "I don't think so. Jared didn't really say. I know he's going to be a late. He has to work."

"Jen, you gotta know that he's just goin' through the motions," Chris said, putting his hands on his hips. "If he were serious about this girl, we'd see her all the damn time. You especially."

"Maybe," Jensen allowed, "but maybe he wants to keep her all to himself for a little while. I don't know. He doesn't really talk much about her."

"If he really liked her," Chris said, "you wouldn't be able to shut him up about her."

"Whatever, man," Jensen muttered, not really wanting to discuss Genevieve. "Doesn't mean he and I should be together."

"Jared swings both ways," Chris said pointedly. "There's no reason why you shouldn't be together."

"Except that he doesn't see me like that," Jensen responded. He couldn't quite keep the bitterness out of his voice. Not for the first time did he wonder when his feelings for his best friend decided to fuck him over. "Can we talk about something else, please?"

Chris looked at him, eyes full of sympathy. "Yeah, man, what do you wanna talk about?"

"You really going to the party tomorrow night?" Jensen asked, grateful to his friend for dropping the subject.

"Why shouldn't I?" Chris asked. "Wanna beer?"

Jensen shook his head. "No, but I'll take a soda." He followed Chris to the kitchen. "Do you think it's a good idea?"

"What? Me goin' to the party?" Chris shrugged. "Sophia asked me to be there," he said like it was enough reason in the world. And it was. Chris could never refuse his high school sweetheart anything.

"But it's for Chad," Jensen reminded him.

"I know that." Chris handed a soda to Jensen. "We're gonna have to start getting along sometime."

"You two will never be able to get along," Jensen muttered, taking a sip of his drink. "Chad hates your guts."

"Maybe it's not as bad as you think," Chris said, opening his beer. "Sophia says that his time in Afghanistan has changed him."

"How does war change someone for the better?" Jensen asked, shaking his head.

"Don't know," Chris responded. "Maybe he appreciates life more."

Jensen snorted. "Chad's never appreciated anything in his life."

"You might be right," Chris agreed, "but I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt. For Sophia's sake. And Jake's."

Jensen smiled, thinking of the little boy Chris thought of as his own. "Boy's a firecracker, isn't he?"

"You bet," Chris said enthusiastically. "Only six and he swings a baseball bat like a pro. You shoulda seen him at ball practice a couple of days ago. Kid's got an arm!"

Jensen laughed.

"Kinda wish he were mine," Chris said wistfully. "Would have been if I hadn'ta gone to Nashville."

Jensen sobered. "I know you do," he said quietly, "but you followed your dream. You would have regretted it if you hadn't pursued your music career."

"Either way I got regrets," Chris said.

Jensen put a hand on his shoulder, giving it a squeeze. "Hey, you're still part of Jake's life."

"And that won't ever change," Chris vowed fiercely. "Chad or no Chad."

"Good for you," Jensen said.

Chris flicked on the light. "You staying for dinner?"

"No," Jensen said. "I have to pick up Jared from the station. Then we're gonna grab a bite."

Chris waggled his brows. "Oh, a date."

Jensen rolled his eyes. "Man, give it a rest."

Chris laughed. "You're so damn easy." He turned on the radio, keeping the volume low.

"I can be," Jensen teased, cracking a smile.

Chris laughed harder.

Jensen slid onto a stool in front of the butcher block table. He watched as Chris started pulling vegetables from the fridge. There was something calming about watching Chris cook and Jensen was endlessly fascinated with the process, seeing as he didn't cook himself. "What are you making?"

"Somethin' simple," Chris replied. "Feel like tacos tonight."

"With your special salsa?" Jensen asked eagerly.

"Wouldn't be tacos without that."

"Aw, man." Jensen's mouth was already watering.

"I'll make an extra batch and bring it to the party tomorrow," Chris promised.

"Yes!" Jensen pumped a fist in the air.

"Hey, hear that?" Chris asked, glancing at the radio.

Jensen listened to the song drifting from the speakers. "That sounds like Steve."

"It is," Chris said flatly.

"Wow, that's a catchy song," Jensen said, tapping his fingers against the wood block in time to the beat.

"I know," Chris muttered.

Jensen focused on his friend. Chris didn't sound too happy. "You don't like the song?"

"I love the song," Chris corrected. "It's just that--"

Jensen's phone rang. He didn't answer, waiting for Chris to finish.

Chris waved his hand. "Better answer that," he said.

"It's just Jared," Jensen said.

"I know," Chris said with a smile.

Jensen huffed. He answered his phone. "Hey! Yeah, I'm ready. I'll be there in about fifteen minutes. Okay, later."

"Tell him I said hello," Chris said as Jensen put his phone away.

Jensen nodded. "What were you saying before Jared called?"

"Nothin' important," Chris responded. "Better go. Jared's a bear when he's hungry."

Jensen smiled. "Yeah, I better go feed the beast." He stood up. "I'll see you at the party tomorrow."

"You bet," Chris said.

Jensen sketched a wave in the air and left through the kitchen door.

~.~.~

 

The banner strung between two trees in the backyard read, Welcome Home! Streamers graced the overhanging branches, which provided the swimming pool with a little shade. A little boy's laughter accompanied a ferocious bout of slashing. Water winked in the sun as it flew everywhere.

"Hey, kiddo!" Jensen grinned as he knelt at the pool's edge. "You're getting me all wet!"

"Uncle Jensen!" The little boy cried. He was smiling, showing a gap between his teeth. "Gonna swim with me?"

"Hmmm," Jensen pretended to consider the request. "Dunno, Jake. There's this monkey in the pool."

"Where? Where?" Jake looked around wildly, bouncing in the water, his floaties making it impossible to sink. "There's no monkey here," he uttered, disappointed.

"Yeah, there is," Jensen disagreed. "I'm lookin' right at him."

For a moment, Jake looked puzzled. Then his blue eyes widened. "Me? Me, Uncle Jensen?"

Jensen laughed. "Yep, you got it, little monkey!"

"Funny, Uncle Jensen," Jake responded, then got the last laugh by scooping up some water and flinging it into Jensen's face.

"Got you good," an amused voice said.

Jensen looked up. Sophia, Jake's mother, was smiling down at them. "Yep, he sure did."

Sophia adjusted her sunglasses. "I hope you're wearing sunscreen, Jen. Otherwise, you're gonna be lobster-red soon."

"Don't worry," Jensen assured her. "I'm covered from head to toe. It's even waterproof."

"That mean you're gonna go for a swim?" she asked.

"You bet. Can't disappoint him," Jensen said, nodding to Jake who had grabbed a foam noodle and was brandishing it in the air. "I believe we've scheduled a duel for two o'clock."

Sophia laughed. "Then I mustn't keep you. Good luck, Sir Knight."

"I'm going to need it," Jensen responded. He stood up and looked over at Jake. "Ready, Jake? Watch out. Here I come!" He backed up a few steps then ran toward the pool. Throwing himself into the air he yelled, "Cannonball!"

The splash was spectacularly high. Water rained down and sloshed out of the pool.

When Jensen came up for air, he was grinning crazily and Jake was giggling like mad.

"Don't know which one's the bigger kid," Chris said as he approached Sophia.

"I heard that," Jensen called.

"You were meant to," Chris hollered back.

"Aren't you supposed to be cooking the hot dogs?" Jensen asked, splashing some water at Chris. "Get to it, King of the Bar-b-Que."

Chris looked uncomfortable. He nodded at the bar-b-que grill.

At once, Jensen understood. Chad was manning the grill, wielding the fork like a sword, a scowl on his face.

Jensen exchanged looks with Chris.

The party was for Chad. He had just returned home from a second tour of Afghanistan. Since Chris did most of the cooking at their get-togethers, Jensen had naturally assumed he'd be doing the cooking at this one.

Apparently, Chad had had other ideas.

"I tried to tell him he didn't have to cook," Sophia said. "That he should just enjoy his party, but he seemed to...take issue with that."

"Not your fault, Sophia," Chris reassured. "Chad takes issue with anything I do."

"I don't know why," Sophia responded honestly. "There's been nothing between us for years."

Chris shifted uncomfortably on his feet."Yeah, well," he muttered, trailing off.

Jensen sighed in sympathy. He knew Chris still carried a torch for Sophia, but would never do anything about it as long as she was still married. Chris wanted her to be happy, and apparently being with Chad was what she wanted, although Jensen didn't really understand why. On the rare occasions Chad was in town, he was surely and grim. Jensen didn't think he had ever seen the man smile.

"Uncle Jensen!" Jake called from behind him. "We gonna play?"

Jensen cast one more concerned glance at Chris before looking over his shoulder at Jake. "Hey, Jake? I think Uncle Chris wants to play, too. That okay?"

Jake nodded vigorously, water droplets flying from his dark blond hair. "Come on, Uncle Chris. Come on!"

Jensen looked expectantly at Chris, who shook his head.

"Gonna get you for this, son," he murmured to Jensen.

"Aw, you know you want to," Jensen wheedled. "I promise Jake and I will go easy on you!"

"Them's fightin' words," Chris mocked growled.

"Oh, I'm scared," Jensen responded dramatically. "What about you, Jake? You scared of Uncle Chris?"

"Uh-uh," Jake said. "We can beat 'im, Uncle Jensen!"

"Of course we can," Jensen responded, grinning.

"You're on!" Chris exclaimed, jumping in the pool.

Styrofoam noodles wiggled wildly in the air as the three of them dueled, chortling and kicking up water as they did so.

Chris, eyes crinkling at the corners, smile stretched across his face, was having the time of his life; his brief somber moment apparently forgotten for which Jensen was grateful. His friend had been entirely too solemn these last few days, and Jensen had yet to figure out why.

"Gotcha, Uncle Chris!" Jake shouted as the noodle bounced off Chris' shoulder.

"Oh, no!" Chris swooned backward, dunking his head under the water.

Jake cheered, laughing.

Jensen laughed too until he caught a glimpse of Chad's face. He blinked, the hilarity dissolving into dismay.

Chad was staring at Chris as he came up out of the water. His eyes were narrowed, lips set in a firm line. If looks could kill, Chris would have drowned right there on the spot.

~.~.~

 

"So where's your better half?"

Jensen slowly opened his eyes. He was reclining on a lounger next to the pool under the shade of some trees. After their impromptu "sword" fight, he'd climbed out of the pool and had gone to the grill under the guise of getting a hot dog, but really wanting to distract Chad from whatever murderous thoughts were going through his head.

Chad had not been very welcoming. Jensen got a snarl to go along with his hot dog and then was summarily dismissed.

With nothing more to do, Jensen had made a strategic retreat to eat his lunch. Now he was resting in the shade. Sunbathing was out of the question. He'd burn no matter what the strength of his SPF sunblock.

"Hey, Katie," he responded warmly, focusing on the lithe young woman sitting in the chair adjacent to him. "Wasn't sure you'd be able to make it."

"Me neither," Katie Cassidy admitted, "but I was able to to get off work early."

"That's good," Jensen replied.

"So you never answered my question," Katie said, leaning toward him with a smile playing at her lips.

"What question?" Jensen asked innocently, but knowing damn well what she was talking about. 

Their friends seemed to think that he and Jared should be together even though neither of them had ever done anything to encourage that impression. At least Jensen didn't think they had.

"Where's Jared?" Katie asked.

Jensen glanced at his watch. "He should be here soon. His shift ends in about fifteen minutes."

"What the fuck are you even doing here?" Chad's angry voice boomed across the pool. "Just get the fuck out!"

"Oh, god," Katie murmured, getting to her feet. "I was hoping this wouldn't happen."

"What do you mean?" Jensen asked, frowning, as he too stood.

"I was over here yesterday, helping Sophia decorate the backyard," Katie explained. "Chad was drinking and it wasn't pretty. I've never heard Sophia babble so many excuses in my life and we've been best friends since grade school."

From his vantage point, Jensen had a clear view of Chad facing off with Chris. He couldn't hear what Chris was saying, but he was holding up his hands in a 'calm down' gesture. Jensen knew that Chris was trying to ease the situation, but he was equally sure that he was only pissing Chad off even more.

"Don't you think I know what you're doing?" Chad shouted, taking a menacing step toward Chris.

"Fuck," Jensen murmured. "We better do something before this gets out of hand." He looked around and groaned. Jake was staring wide-eyed at his father, big blue eyes filling with tears. The little boy clapped his hands over his ears as Chad shouted again.

"You fucking bastard! I should kill you where you stand! This is not your fucking family! It's mine!"

"Katie," Jensen whispered horrified. "Get Jake and take him into the house."

The pretty blonde shot him a distressed look and nodded. She took off toward the little boy, scooping him up into her arms and practically running for the house. No child should see this.

"Chad, baby, it's okay," Sophia soothed, laying a hand on his arm. "Maybe we should call it quits and go inside, okay?"

Chad knocked her hand off his shoulder. "Fuck you, Sophia! This is your own goddamned fault. If you hadn't been whoring around with this fuck behind my back, I wouldn't have to kick him out of my goddamned house!"

"Take that back, you fucking asshole!" Chris cried angrily, arm rising to strike Chad.

Jensen dashed over to the fighting pair, sliding neatly between them. "Whoa, whoa. Guys, take it easy."

"Get the fuck out of my way, Jensen," Chad practically spit into his face. "This is none of your fucking business."

Chris, eyes narrowed, nodded. "Do as he says, Jen," he said quietly, fury barely leashed. "Gonna fuckin' pound this asshole into next week. Don't want you in the middle of it."

"No, Chris," Jensen said desperately. "Don't do this. Not here. Not now." He looked at Chad and started to plead. "Chad, man, please, just calm down."

Chad grabbed Jensen by the shoulders, fingers digging painfully into his skin, and Jensen winced. "Who do you think you are, you little faggot? Telling me what the fuck to do in my own goddamned house!" He shook Jensen and his head snapped back.

"Get your fucking hands off him," a new voice growled. "Your house or not, I'll fucking arrest you and if you get beaten up while being taken into custody, it'll be your own goddamned fault."

Jensen closed his eyes for just a brief moment. Things had gone from bad to worse.

"Better do as he says, Chad," Chris said. "Jared doesn't like it when someone messes with his boy."

Jensen shot Chris a "what the fuck?" look.

Despite the tense situation, Chris smirked at him, eyebrow raised as if asking Jensen to contradict him.

As if to prove Chris' point, Jared took a step forward. He was a long line of heat, and anger, and pure muscle along Jensen's side. His fists were clenched.

Jensen shot him a look and he shook his head ever so slightly. A whole conversation took place in the silence, Jared's face darkening with every passing second. Finally, he heaved a disgruntled sigh and took a subtle step back.

Letting out a breath, Jensen quirked his lip in thanks.

Then he turned back to Chad, making the man his sole focus. "Chad," Jensen said neutrally. "Let me go." He could break Chad's hold easily enough, but this wasn't about who had the bigger balls.

Chad snarled wordlessly at him, but Jensen waited. He was hyper aware of Jared shifting at his side. Silent promise or not, if things didn't improve soon, and by that Jensen knew if he wasn't released soon, Jared would make good on his threat.

"Fuck you," Chad muttered, shoving Jensen away. "You fucking people come to my house and think you own the fucking place. Well no more. I don't want to see any of you fuckers ever again."

"Chad, you don't mean that," Sophia cried helplessly.

"You especially, Kane," Chad snarled. "Get your own fucking family and stay the fuck away from mine."

"Please, Chad," Sophia reached for him.

Chad shouldered past her, nearly knocking her to the ground.

Chris reached out to steady her, wrapping his arm around her shoulder, angrily gazing after Chad.

Jensen fought the urge to rub his arms even though they hurt, knowing that any such move would probably arouse Jared's mother hen instinct.

The need for subterfuge was apparently unnecessary.

Jared stepped closer to him, brow wrinkled in concern. "You hurt?" he rumbled.

"I'm fine," Jensen responded automatically.

Jared didn't look like he believed him. "Jensen," he started to say.

Jensen shook his head. "Let it go, man. It's okay."

Jared frowned, but backed off. "What the fuck was that all about?"

Jensen shrugged helplessly. Chad had never been openly hostile before. He didn't know what to make of it.

"It'll be alright, darlin'," Chris soothed, planting a tiny kiss to Sophia's forehead. "This'll blow over. Just you wait and see."

"I know it will," Sophia said, sniffling. "It's—it's not his fault. You gotta believe that. The war...it...he's been...he's been having a really hard time."

Chris nodded. "Don't you worry, Sophia. We'll get through this. It'll be okay."

She gave him a watery smile. "Thanks, Chris, for always being there." She leaned up and kissed the corner of his mouth. "I better go on in and check on Jake."

"Yeah," Chris agreed. "He sure got an earful."

"Gotta make things right," Sophia said.

There was a roar of a motorcycle as it peeled out of the driveway.

"I...guess he just needs some time," Sophia said sadly. "Maybe it's for the best."

"We'll clean up out here, Sophia," Jensen interjected. "You go on in. We'll let ourselves out when we're done."

"You don't mind?" she asked.

"Nope," Jared said.

"Thank you," Sophia murmured. "I don't know what I'd do without you guys." She turned and headed for her house.

When she had disappeared inside, Jensen rounded on Chris. "What the fuck, man?"

Chris blinked at him. "What?"

"You can't get all cuddly and shit with Sophia," Jensen hissed. "Chad will kill you."

"I'm not afraid of that asshole," Chris muttered.

"I'm not saying you are," Jensen responded in exasperation, "but you're putting Sophia in a bad position."

"Jen's right," Jared said. "You may be able to defend yourself against Chad, but she and Jake might not be able to."

A thunderous expression crossed Chris' face. "He wouldn't fucking dare!"

"Man, you gotta keep your distance," Jensen said, not exactly sure what Chad was capable of. "Quit provoking him."

Chris ran a hand through his hair. "I don't know if I can stay away," he said quietly. "I still love her, Jen. And if she needs me, I'm gonna be there for her."

"All we're saying," Jared said, "is to back off a little. Not completely."

"I'll try," Chris answered.

Jared laid a hand on Chris' shoulder. "I'm really sorry, man," he said sympathetically. "It must be hell seeing the one you love in the arms of someone else."

Jensen let out a sigh. Truer words had never been spoken.

~.~.~

 

The lights flashed as the firetrucks roared down the street, sirens blaring at short intervals.  
Jensen, in the passenger seat of one, was leaning forward, foot pressed to the floor as if there was an invisible pedal there and he could make the truck go faster. As a firefighter, he was used to urgency, but tonight was different. The urgency he felt tonight was gilded with anxiety and even a little fear.

It was because the house on fire was Chris'.

"Can't you go any faster, Danneel?" Jensen implored in a tight voice.

Danneel Harris, driver and his partner, didn't even spare him a glance. She was too busy concentrating on the road. "Going as fast as I can," she responded. "Don't want to get us killed."

Jensen gripped the dashboard as Danneel took a turn without slowing down. He prayed that everything would be all right.

It was two in the morning and the Texas heat was still oppressive, pressing in from all sides, making the air thick. No rain. There hadn't been any in about a month. Everything was bone dry, grass yellow and concrete cracking. Bad conditions for a fire.

Jensen tried not to let the worry consume him. He took a few deep breaths willing himself to calm. He wouldn't be any use to his fellow firefighters or to any potential victims if he was agitated.

Victims, thought Jensen, feeling a tight ball of fear settle in his stomach.

It was possible that Chris was at a bar somewhere, knocking back a few drinks. After the disastrous party, Jensen thought it was highly likely. But when they finally pulled up in front of Chris' house, flames dancing along the back of the house and toward the roof, Jensen's heart plummeted.

Chris' car was in the driveway.

Jensen quickly got out of the cab. Standing on the sidewalk, he double-checked his gear, gaining confidence in the ritual. The fire was bad, but hadn't spread. They were in time.

"Ackles," his radio crackled to life. "You and Harris go through the front door. We'll handle the back."

"Roger that, Captain," Jensen responded.

Danneel nodded toward him and they both raced toward the front door. A quick evaluation of the situation proved that it was safe to go in.

Jensen nodded at Danneel and they entered the burning house cautiously. Inside, the temperature was rising and Jensen felt sweat gather at his hairline, slowly dripping down his face. Making sure his regulator was connected to his face mask and firmly in place, he went further into the house. Distantly, he heard his fellow firefighters call to one another. In his mind's eye, he pictured them readying the hose and as if to reinforce the image, he heard the whoosh of water.

Satisfied that the fire was now under control, Jensen called out: "Chris! Chris!"

Danneel signaled she was going into the living room and he nodded.

Smoke was drifting from the back of the house killing whatever clean air was left. Jensen had to move fast. Soon the smoke would be so dense he wouldn't be able to see and while that wouldn't stop him from looking for Chris, it would mean Chris didn't have a chance of surviving. Smoke killed you faster than fire.

Jensen headed for the staircase. "Chris!" he shouted again, testing the bottom step with his weight. It appeared sturdy enough, but whispers of smoke were curling toward the ceiling. To the side of him, he could see bright orange flames creeping out of the kitchen, scorching the walls of the hallway.

"Jensen, the fire is spreading. Any luck on finding Chris?"

"No, Danneel, not yet," Jensen spoke into his mic. "I'll find him."

"Right. I'm headed back your way. I can help.

"Heading up the stairs now," Jensen responded, beginning his slow climb. The heat was intense, grey smoke growing thicker. Jensen was sweat-soaked inside his suit.

Jensen was almost at the top of the stairs when he saw Chris stumble out of his office. His friend coughed and bumped against the railing. Chris caught himself and lurched toward Jensen.

"Chris," Jensen called, sighing in relief. He reached out for his friend, catching Chris as he fell into his arms.

"J---Jensen," Chris choked out. "Help...me."

"I gotcha," Jensen soothed, gathering Chris closer. "Gonna get you out of here."

"L---listen," Chris mumbled, coughing again. He clutched at Jensen's jacket. "You...you..." Cough. 

"Gotta know...." More coughing.

"Hey, Chris, no more talking," Jensen said, starting to pat Chris on the back. "You're taking in smoke--" he broke off with a frown. Slowly he slid his hand up Chris' back, eyes growing in horror. "Chris?" he asked, voice shaking. It couldn't be. He swallowed as his fingers brushed over the knife handle sticking out of Chris' back.

"L—listen," Chris repeated, breathing heavily, blood starting to slowly leak out of his mouth. "N—not his...." he panted, grip on Jensen growing weaker. "Mine....mine."

"What? Chris?" Jensen was freaking out. His friend had been stabbed; there was a fire. Who had done this?

"Mine, Jensen," Chris said again, breath hissing out of his mouth. His jaw went slack, head tilting backward, leaving Jensen to stare into his vacant eyes.

"Chris?" Jensen called in panic, holding him up. "Chris? No, no, Chris. Don't do this."

Smoke was filling up the top floor, making its way down the stairs, covering them. The crackle of flames was getting closer.

Jensen ignored all of it. Chris was in his arms. Not moving. Not breathing. Tears pricked at his eyes.

"Jensen. You there?" Danneel's voice, hollow but clear, came through his mic.

Jensen didn't answer.

"Jensen!" Her tone was more insistent. "Answer me, dammit! Are you there? Jensen!"

She would not be ignored. "Fucking answer me, Jensen!"

Her panic cut through the shock he was feeling. Jensen fumbled for his mic, hands shaking as he tried to work it without dropping Chris. Finally, he was able to calm by taking deep breaths of fresh oxygen from the self-contained breathing apparatus strapped to his back. "Danneel?" His voice was high-pitched, almost squeaky. He swallowed and tried again. "Danneel, I—I found Chris. He's—he's...." The words died in his throat.

There was a loud cracking sound and suddenly the part of the roof toward the back of the house caved in.

Jensen, careful of Chris' body, started to back down the stairs. He froze when he glimpsed someone coming at him through the smoke. Someone was looming at the top of the stairs. Jensen blinked, certain his eyes were playing tricks on him. The person looked so familiar...

"You've got to be fucking kidding me," the familiar stranger growled.

In that instant, Jensen knew who it was at the top of the stairs. He opened his mouth to speak, what he was going to say he didn't know, but it was a moot point.

The person at the top of the stairs lifted a booted foot and rammed it into Chris' back. The momentum carried forward, pushing into Jensen who lost his footing and careened down the stairs, knocking into the banister as he tumbled backward. He landed hard on his back, the self-contained breathing apparatus slamming into him and stealing the breath from his lungs.

As his eyes fluttered closed, the last thing Jensen saw was the person who killed Chris flying down the stairs and out the front door.

Then all was black.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 2

The only light in the room came from a dimmed lamp sitting on top of the nightstand to the left of Jensen's bed. There wasn't any sound; no constant beep of the EKG monitor, no whoosh of oxygen as it pumped into Jensen's lungs.

Jared hadn't been able to stand the sound. The incessant noise had battered at his already raw nerves. He'd had the staff shut the sound off. He could still see, though, the way Jensen's chest rose and fell as the ventilator did its work, could still see his steady heartbeat as it blipped across the EKG monitor. And Jared held onto those signs of life, held onto the hope that Jensen would soon wake.

He sighed tiredly. Leaning forward, he stared earnestly into Jensen's pale face. "Come on, Jen," he pleaded softly, voice hoarse. "Open your eyes. Open your eyes!" He patted Jensen's cheek, becoming desperate. "Please, Jen, don't do this to me. You gotta open your eyes, show me you're okay."

Jensen's eyes remained stubbornly closed.

Jared hung his head. "God, Jensen, I can't stand seeing you like this."

The phone had rung in the middle of the night. And like most late night phone calls, it hadn't brought good news. Jared had been lying in bed but wide awake, unaccountably worried. His sixth sense had told him something was wrong and he'd unconsciously been waiting for something to happen. He'd picked up on the first ring.

After a brief, but shocking conversation, he had raced to the hospital, lights and sirens paving the way, to be with Jensen.

"Don't worry, Jen," Jared whispered. "I'm right here. I'm gonna get you through this. You're gonna be okay."

It was a promise, but deep in his heart Jared knew it was going to be hard to keep. Chris was dead; murdered. How were things ever going to be okay?

There was a brief tap at the door, then Danneel poked her head in. "How is he?" she asked softly, entering.

"No change," Jared responded. "But the doctors are optimistic he'll wake up."

Danneel nodded, looking down at Jensen. "That's good. Hope it's soon. He's freaking me out."

Jared placed his hand loosely over Jensen's wrist. "Me, too," he agreed. "Hate seeing him this still." 

A lump rose in his throat, but he ruthlessly quashed the emotions threatening to overcome his defenses. He couldn't lose it. Not now when Jensen needed him most.

Danneel touched his shoulder. "He'll be fine, Jared."

"He fucking well better be," Jared growled. "You hear that, Jensen? You better fucking wake up soon. It's time to get off your lazy ass."

"Jared," Danneel remonstrated.

"I know." Jared rubbed a hand across his face, pressing his fingers against the ridge of his eye sockets. "Sorry. Just tired."

"You've been here since they brought him in," Danneel said, "maybe you should go on home and get some sleep."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" he growled at her. "No fucking way am I leaving him!"

Danneel held up her hands in surrender. "Okay, okay. I shouldn't have suggested it. My mistake. How about going down to the cafeteria and grabbing some coffee? Maybe something to eat?"

Jared shook his head. "Can't leave him alone," he reminded her. "What if he wakes up and I'm not here? I'm staying."

"Okay. I get that," Danneel said. "But you have to take care of yourself, too. Jensen will be pissed if you don't."

Jared shook his head. "I'm fine. Don't worry about me."

"I just think you should--"

"Danneel," Jared interrupted firmly. "Enough. I'm not going anywhere. Not when Jensen's hurt. Not when he might be in danger."

"Surely nothing will happen to him while he's in the hospital?" Danneel asked, shocked.

"I can't take that chance," Jared responded. "We're pretty sure he saw Chris' killer, Danneel, same as you."

The investigation had barely begun, but between Danneel's account of the evening's happenings and the way Jensen had been found at the bottom of the stairs, Chris dead on top of him, they were fairly certain Jensen had witnessed the murder. Nothing could be confirmed, however, until Jensen woke up and told them what had happened. Until then, Jared was like glue.

Danneel shook her head. "Didn't really see much of anything, Jared. Whoever killed Chris was running away and there was too much smoke."

"Still," Jared argued, "we have to be careful. I'm not leaving him and you shouldn't be alone either."

"Hey, take it easy," Danneel said. "The keeper you assigned me is waiting right outside."

"Good," Jared said tiredly. "Go home and take him with you. I've got Jensen." He reached over and brushed his fingers along Jensen's forehead. "I'll take care of him."

"I know you will, Jared," Danneel said, voice thick. "He's in good hands."

"I'm gonna keep him safe," Jared vowed fiercely. "I'm not gonna let anything happen to him." He looked up at her. "Thanks, Danneel, for getting him out of there. I should have thanked you before, but--"

She gave him a watery smile. "But you had other things on your mind. I get it, Jared. And no thanks necessary. It's my job," her voice dropped, "and he's my friend, too."

It went quiet. Jared returned his gaze to Jensen's face, willing him to wake up. Danneel leaned down and kissed Jensen on the forehead, patted Jared on the hand and left.

He and Jensen were alone again.

~.~.~

 

There was a soft knock at the door.

Jared, who had been leaning forward in his chair so that he could lie his head next to Jensen's, sat up quickly. He had his hand on the butt of his gun when the hospital door slowly opened. Upon seeing the man in the doorway, Jared relaxed, waving him in.

"Hey, Mike," he greeted his partner on the force.

Mike Rosenbaum returned the greeting as he stepped further into the room. "How's Jensen doing?"

Jared looked back at Jensen's pale face. "About as well as to be expected."

"What did the doctor say?" Mike asked.

"He's suffered some head trauma, but we don't know to what extent," Jared replied, feeling his chest tighten as he thought about Jensen's injuries. "We won't know that until he wakes up."

Mike nodded. "Why's he on his side with the pillows piled up behind him?"

Jared heaved a sigh. "He has massive contusions up and down the center of his back from where his breathing apparatus rammed into him. For a little while there, the doctors were afraid he might have messed up his spine. Then the swelling went down and they took x-rays. There shouldn't be any lasting damage, but he'll be in lots of pain for a while," Jared uttered all of this with a lump in his throat. The thought of Jensen being paralyzed had scared the fuck out of him. The danger was past, but thinking about it reminded him how lucky Jensen had been. How lucky Jared was.

"He's lucky to be alive," Mike murmured, mirroring Jared's thoughts.

"Yeah, tell me about it." Jared cleared his throat. "What about the investigation? Please tell me you have something."

Mike ran a hand through his brown hair. "The fire marshal officially declared the fire, arson. The accelerant was alcohol and it was a match that set it off. Actually, it looks like someone tried to set some CDs on fire."

"CDs?" Jared frowned. "Wonder what that means."

"Don't know. May not even mean anything," Mike said.

"You think it was someone who knew Chris?" Jared asked.

"The crime scene detectives are just getting into the house now," Mike replied. "The fire marshal wouldn't let them in until the danger had past. But I think so. After a quick look around, it didn't appear as if the doors or windows had been tampered with, leading me to assume that Chris let his killer inside the house. We'll know more when the crime scene boys are done."

"I don't like this," Jared murmured. He shifted closer to Jensen, laying a hand on his arm. Jared's gut told him that Jensen was in terrible danger and Jared always listened to his gut. Especially when it came to Jensen.

"Everyone's working double time on this, Jared," Mike assured. "We'll get to the bottom of this and soon."

"Thanks, Mike," Jared said gratefully.

"No problem," Mike returned. "You just concentrate on taking care of Jensen. We'll handle the rest."

Jensen was a regular visitor to the police station. Everyone at Major Crimes knew of their close friendship and Jared was glad his fellow detectives understood. He knew he'd be able to count on them to find Chris' murderer, a task he normally would have handled himself if Jensen hadn't been hurt. Jensen was his priority. He was sure Chris would understand.

"Anything from the coroner?" Jared asked in a tight voice. It was hard to act detached when it was your friend lying on a slab in the morgue, but Jared was a cop and he tried to maintain his professionalism.

"Chris was pronounced dead on the scene," Mike replied quietly. "Stabbed in the back twice. The second wound was deeper than the first. According to the coroner, excessive force was used to drive it that far deep."

Jared looked up sharply. "Excessive force? Does he have any idea how it could have happened?"

"He thinks a heavy kick would have done it," Mike said slowly.

Jared stared at him, but his focus was inward. His brain was racing as he put two and two together. "A kick that would have pushed Jensen down the stairs, too," he muttered, anger coursing through his veins.

"It sure looks that way," Mike agreed. "Maybe Jensen will be able to tell us more."

Jared nodded, the expression on his face grim. "We need to find this fucker and fast, Mike," he said in a hard voice. "You hear me?"

"Yeah, I hear you," Mike said, "and I'm with you all the way, Jared." His eyes flicked toward Jensen, then back to Jared. "Don't worry."

Jared brushed Jensen's forehead with the tips of his fingers. "Too late," he said softly.

The silence stretched.

"I'll keep you posted," Mike finally said, heading for the door.

"You do that," Jared muttered, eyes still on Jensen. "The minute you know something, you call me."

"Will do," Mike said, leaving the room.

"Anytime now, Jen You can wake up." Jared leaned forward so that their foreheads touched. "Anytime."

~.~.~

 

His head felt like it was stuffed with cotton. Jensen tried to shake it, but it felt heavy and uncooperative. He moaned as pain shot up through his neck. A low throb settled into his skull.

"Jensen?" Someone whispered urgently. "Jensen! Open your eyes. Please, open your eyes!"

The voice was insistent, but Jensen wanted to ignore it. He just wanted to slip back into sleep.

There was a hand on his arm, squeezing him. "I know you're awake, Jen. Let me see your eyes. Lift those lids for me."

"Bossy," Jensen mumbled, word scraping along his dry throat. He winced and tried swallowing. "W—water?"

"I'll get you some water," the voice murmured, "but you have to open your eyes."

Jensen's eyes slit open. The room was semi-dark, but his eyes watered anyway. He blinked. A straw touched his lips and he drank greedily.

"Take it easy," the voice admonished. "You don't want to get sick."

Jensen blinked again, slowly focusing on the man looming above him. He frowned, shrinking back against the bed. "Who—who are you? Uh, where am I?"

The man seemed to go very still. "You don't...know who I am?" he asked tightly, sounding as if razorblades were clogging his throat.

Jensen stared hard at the man. He rubbed at his temple as the pain in his head intensified.

The man immediately reached out and lowered his hand back to the bed. Jensen was about to protest when the man began rubbing tiny little circles against his temple.

Jensen sighed, relaxing into the bed. "Feels good," he mumbled.

"I know," the man said softly. "I do this for you when you have migraines."

"You do?" Jensen asked, moaning in appreciation as the man continued to work his magic and ease the pain in his head.

The man's hands stilled, but didn't withdraw his fingers. "You don't remember?"

Something was off. Wrong. The man sounded shaky and just a little afraid.

"I'm supposed to know you." Jensen didn't phrase it as a question, but the man responded anyway, head jerking up and down, lips pressed tight together. "I'm sorry," he said. For some reason, the thought of this man hurting made Jensen's heart ache.

The man pulled back, hands dropping to his sides and Jensen felt bereft. He wanted the man's touch, but didn't know how to ask for it. He really didn't think he should.

"I can't believe you don't remember me," the man murmured, rising to his feet and beginning to pace in agitation. "You have to remember me. We've been through so much..."

Jensen shifted on the bed, gasping as a line of fire danced up and down his back.

The man spun toward him, hands reaching out to grasp Jensen's shoulders in a surprisingly gentle grip. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" he demanded.

The pain was worth it just to feel those hands on him again. "I didn't mean to..." Jensen faltered, groping for words. "I didn't mean to not remember you."

The man rolled his eyes. "So damn typical of you, Jensen," he muttered. "Trying to make me feel better when you're the one in fucking pain."

Jensen blinked. "I do that?"

"All the fucking time," the man responded as he eased Jensen back down to the bed, settling him gently against the pillow along his back. "Now just relax, okay? No more sudden moves."

"No," Jensen said firmly.

The man lifted an eyebrow. "No? What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"No," Jensen repeated, "I'm not going to relax." The throbbing in his head was slowly crescendoing into a terrible pounding, but he was determine to remember the the big man with the kind hazel eyes.

"Fuck, Jen, will you stop being so damn stubborn?"

Jensen pushed himself up into a sitting position again, managing to swing his legs over the side of the bed, going slower this time. The pain in his back was still there, but its intensity had diminished.

"Damn it, Jensen!" The man reached for him again.

Jensen knocked his hand away, jarring his whole body. He couldn't suppress the pained moan that flew from his lips as his vision blurred for a brief second. His stomach tripped dangerously, and he doubled over, knowing he was going to be sick.

The man caught him, slipping an arm around his shoulders as he began to rub Jensen's stomach in soothing circles. "Take it easy," he murmured. "You're okay. Just breathe, Jen. Slow and easy. You're okay. Breathe."

"G—gonna be sick," Jensen mumbled, clutching at the man's forearm.

"No, you're not," the man holding him said quietly. "I'm right here. I've got you, Jen."

A memory flashed in Jensen's head. He was leaning over a toilet, wrapped in this same embrace, feeling safe and cared for. "J—Jared?"

Jared stilled, the arm around Jensen's shoulders tightening. "You remember me?" he asked cautiously.

"Feels like I have a freakin' hangover," Jensen murmured.

"Jensen," Jared said warningly, "you know who I am, right?"

"Yeah, Jared, I remember," Jensen said quietly. "Don't know why I forgot."

Jared pulled Jensen closer, his head tipping onto Jared's chest. "Doesn't matter. I'm just glad you're back with me."

Jensen closed his eyes and let himself relax. His shaky stomach was beginning to settle. "You've got me," he said, the ache in his head abating with every soothing beat of Jared's heart.

"I do," Jared said.

They were quiet. Words weren't always necessary with them. Jensen, quite content to soak up Jared's warmth, started to drift.

"I should probably let the doctor know you're awake," Jared said. "He probably wants to talk to you before you fall back to sleep."

"Doctor?"

Jensen pushed himself away from Jared abruptly, biting his lip as pain screamed up his spine. "Doctor? What doctor? What happened, Jared?" He looked around wildly. "I'm in a hospital? Why am I in a hospital, Jared? What's going on?"

"Hey, hey, take it easy," Jared soothed, standing and facing Jensen. He gripped Jensen's shoulders. "You have to calm down, Jen. You're hurt and you're only going to make things worse if you get worked up."

"Worked up? I'm in a fucking hospital!" Jensen struggled against Jared's grip, but the movement caused his head to swim. "Want...want...out of here, Jared."

"I know you do," Jared said sympathetically, "but you're going to have to wait until the doctor discharges you."

"No!" Jensen screamed in panic. He couldn't stay here. "I'm leaving--" He was getting dizzy and he put a hand to his stomach as it threatened another revolt. "I can't...please, Jared, get me...out of here."

"You're going to stay in the hospital, Jensen," Jared stated firmly. "And I'm going to stay with you."

That single declaration cut through Jensen's panic. "You'll—you'll stay with me?"

Jared nodded. "We'll stick together and everything will be okay."

Jensen searched Jared's eyes, seeing the sincerity in their depths. Jared had never let him down. "Okay," he said slowly. "I'll...I'll stay."

Jared smiled at him. "Good call," he said. "I'm going to go get the doctor."

"Wait!" Jensen cried, grabbing Jared's arm. "You didn't tell me what happened. Why am I here, Jared?"

"What's the last thing you remember?" Jared asked with a sigh.

Jensen thought for a moment. "The alarm went off at the station house," he said slowly. "I woke up and grabbed my bunkers and put them on."

"And?" Jared prompted.

"We—we got into the truck," Jensen responded. "Danneel was driving. We were going to..." he frowned. There was a vague image in his mind. "We were...I...I...can't remember. Why can't I remember, Jared?"

"You've suffered a head injury," Jared said. "I'm sure things will get better."

"Yeah, you're probably right," Jensen said, not really believing it. It felt as if a whole chunk of time was missing and it made him uneasy. "Why don't you fill me in on what I'm missing?"

Jared looked away. "You really need to be lying down, Jen. You need to rest."

"What happened, Jared?" Jensen insisted. "What aren't you telling me?"

Jared was silent.

Dread pooled in Jensen's stomach, making him feel queasy.

"There was a fire," Jared said finally.

"I know that!" Jensen snapped.

"Yeah, I guess you do," Jared said slowly.

"Spit it out, Jared," Jensen said. "Just tell me."

Jared looked at him, sadness etched into his features. "The fire was at Chris' house."

Jensen nearly stopped breathing. "Chris?" His heart started to beat triple time. "Did he...die in the fire?"

Jared shook his head. "Not quite."

"What?" Jensen blinked. "What does that mean?"

"Jensen, Chris was murdered and the fire was set to cover it up," Jared reluctantly said.

"No," Jensen whispered in shock. His mouth went dry and he went cold all over. "No, Jared. That...that can't be right."

Jared sat down next to him, gently drawing him close. "I wish to god it wasn't, but it is."

Any physical pain Jensen may have felt was nothing compared to the agony filling his heart. His chest constricted and he had to work to draw in air.

Jared whispered. "I'm right here."

As if permission had been given, Jensen collapsed against Jared, burying his face against Jared's breast. Tears slowly made their way down his cheeks and he sobbed quietly.

"Right here," Jared repeated, cheek brushing Jensen's hair.

Jensen closed his eyes and let himself fall apart.

Jared never let him go.


	3. Chapter 3

Part 3

Jensen idly stirred his soup, staring into the tomato-y depths. It looked good, smelled even better, but he wasn't interested in eating. Since leaving the hospital, food hadn't held much appeal. He sighed, rubbing his forehead, trying to ease the ever present ache that throbbed behind his eyes. He longed for sleep, but that hadn't been working out well either.

Basically, he felt fucked over. Strangely, though, he didn't really care. Nothing going around him seemed to impact him in any way. Even Jared with his soft words and kind eyes might as well have been on another planet.

There was only one thing that occupied Jensen's attention: Chris. Jensen couldn't stop thinking about Chris. The idea that his friend was gone was almost a pain Jensen couldn't bear. He also felt guilty. Chris had been murdered and Jensen had probably seen the murderer, but he couldn't remember. The night of the fire was a complete blank. No matter how hard he racked his brain, there was no memory.

The doctors had called it traumatic amnesia. The memories might come back, they told him, or they might not.

The idea of not being able to remember what happened that night frustrated Jensen to no end. He wanted so badly to remember Chris' last moments, to remember his killer, but Jensen's memory was gone. Jensen felt useless.

"Jen?" Jared interrupted his thoughts. "You should eat something."

Jensen sighed again, slumping in his chair. Jared meant well, but he'd been poking and prodding at Jensen for the last two days. You need to eat something was a common refrain as was you should get some sleep, or the ever popular you need to take your pain meds. Jensen was sick of it. He just wanted to be left alone with his morose thoughts and his feelings of guilt. But Jared was always there, pushing him. Push, push, push. He just wouldn't leave things alone.

"I'm not hungry," Jensen murmured, pushing his bowl away.

Jared nudged it gently back toward him and when Jensen met his glance, he saw nothing put the steel glint of determination in his eyes.

"Eat," Jared commanded quietly.

Jensen felt a surge of anger, temporarily obliterating his headache. "Fuck off, Jared. I'm not goddamned hungry!"

"You can't take any of your pain medication on an empty stomach," Jared responded reasonably. "You know how you are."

"I know how I am?" Jensen repeated. "No, Jared, I fucking don't know how I am! Why don't you tell me?" It was good to feel angry. He thought he might even feel better if he could throw something, but Jared was still his best friend, and deep down he knew Jared was only looking out for him.

"Jen, take it easy," Jared said, keeping his tone even, but Jensen could sense the frustration behind the words.

Jensen slammed his fist on the table, making his bowl jump, sloshing soup onto the table. "Don't you dare fucking tell me to take it easy!" he yelled. "Just fucking leave me alone!"

"Can't do that," Jared said calmly. "You need me, Jen, and I'm not going to bail on you."

Jensen blinked, opened his mouth, closed it. The fight drained out of him. Jared was right. Jensen needed him. "Sorry, Jared," he whispered dully. "I just don't know what's wrong with me."

Jared stood and walked to stand next to him, laying a hand on Jensen's shoulder. "Your body's been through a hell of a lot and you're hurting," he said. "But it's more than that. I know that you've been trying to figure out what happened that night and that it's bothering you that you can't."

Jensen looked up. "You do? But how do you know that?" he asked in awe.

"Because I know you," Jared said simply. "You want to do right by Chris and you hate that you can't because of the amnesia."

"The answer is in my head, Jared," Jensen said quietly. "But I just can't access it and I feel so damn guilty about it."

Jared squeezed his shoulder. "Don't. And don't push it either. You'll only make your head hurt worse. It'll come to you, Jensen, probably when you least expect it. Give it time."

"You really think so?" Jensen asked hopefully.

"I do," Jared said firmly. "We'll get the bastard who killed Chris. I promise you, Jensen."

Jensen swiped a hand over his face, feeling very tired. "I know. I just wish I could help."

"It'll come to you," Jared repeated. "In the meantime, you have to eat and you need to rest." He looked away. "You're like a ghost, Jen," he said haltingly, "walking around my house. Do you know that this is the first real conversation we've had since I brought you home from the hospital?"

That startled Jensen. "No."

Jared nodded, still not looking at him. "You've been so quiet, so withdrawn. And I can see that you're in pain and you won't let me help you. It's killing me to see you hurting so much, Jen."

There was a lump in Jensen's throat and he had to swallow a few times before he could answer. "Jared, I--"

"Please let me help you, Jen," Jared interrupted, looking at him sadly. "I can't see you like this and not try to do something about it. Don't ask me to leave you alone. Please don't ask me to do that because I can't," he finished in a choked whisper.

Jensen reached out to touch his arm, but Jared was already moving, heading out the backdoor.

Stunned, Jensen leaned back in his chair. What had he done? He had hurt his best friend. He had to do something about it.

Jensen stood slowly. His back was still a massive bruise and even though he didn't admit it to Jared when he asked, it pained Jensen to move. A few agonizing steps across the kitchen linoleum and Jensen was exciting the backdoor.

Jared was on the porch, leaning against the railing and staring out across the backyard.

"Hey," Jensen called softly as he stepped up beside him. "Jared, look, I didn't mean to do any of that to you."

Jared snapped his head around to look at him, eyes wide with alarm. "Damn it, Jensen! What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Jensen was confused, but before he could say anything, Jared went on.

"You shouldn't be out here," Jared growled, grabbing him by the arm none too gently. "We need to get you inside."

"Jared, what are you talking about?" Jensen asked, as Jared hustled him back into the house, closing and locking the door behind them.

Jensen's whole body was aflame with pain, but he gritted his teeth, waiting for Jared to answer.

"Chris' killer might come after you," Jared said grimly. "I'm am not letting you make yourself an easy target. From now on, you stay inside."

Jensen fumbled for a chair and sank into it. "You've got to be kidding. Jared, I don't remember a thing. Not a single, solitary thing! That's the whole fucking problem!"

"The killer doesn't know that, Jen," Jared replied. "I've got to protect you."

Jensen sank his head into his hands, the throbbing in his head was now a steady sharp pain stabbing at the back of his eyes. It had never occurred to him that he might be a target. "Why didn't you say anything about this sooner?"

"You weren't really listening to me, remember?" Jared shot back. Then he looked guilty and his tone softened. "You were in no shape to deal with this. Frankly, I don't think you're in any better shape now. Just let me handle it, okay? I'll take care of you."

Of that, Jensen had no doubt. "I know you will," he murmured, not missing Jared's pleased smile. "But now I really wish I could remember more about that night."

"We've already gone over this, Jen," Jared admonished him gently.

"I know," Jensen murmured, rubbing his brow.

"Fuck, Jen, you really need to take some pain meds," Jared said, watching him intently. "Eat some of the soup, will you? Please?"

Jensen shakily reached for the bowl, pulling it toward him. The soup was mostly cold, but he didn't care. He needed to eat if he wanted the meds. Taking them on a empty stomach only made Jensen throw it all up later. Jared knew that and was making sure he ate. Jensen hated himself right then for throwing it back into Jared's face.

"Thank you," Jared murmured, sounding heartfelt.

"I wish you wouldn't worry so much about me," Jensen mumbled, feeling a blush creep into his cheeks.

"You might as well wish that the sky was green and the grass blue," Jared responded drily.

Jensen smiled at him shyly, finishing off his soup.

"Here," Jared said, handing him his pills and some water.

Jensen swallowed the pills. He rolled his neck, trying to ease the tension while waiting for the medication to take effect. His head was really killing him.

"Let me," Jared said softly, hands landing gently on Jensen's shoulders. He began to knead the muscles along his neck and shoulders.

"Thanks, Jared," Jensen said, eyes closing as he felt Jared's hands work their magic.

There was a knock at the door.

Jared's hands on Jensen's shoulders froze.

The knock came again.

"You expecting anyone?" Jensen asked, watching Jared.

Jared was frowning, lines of deep concentration bisecting his brow. "No," he muttered, moving to a kitchen drawer and withdrawing his gun.

Jensen went still. He knew Jared had been serious about protecting him. Jared had always watched out for him and never failed to take it seriously even when it was just a bully on the playground in second grade. But seeing the gun...Jensen swallowed, staring at it. The gun made made everything so real. He was in danger and Jensen felt cold all over.

"Stay here." Jared left the kitchen, steps light and quiet.

Jensen moved to the door, leaning against the jam. He held his breath, ears straining to hear anything coming from the front door. When there was no sound, he eased out into the hall, flattening himself against the wall.

Voices filtered back to him.

"Hey, Jared, thought I'd come by and give you an update."

"Mike, come on in. Have a seat. I'll be right back."

Jensen started to turn back toward the kitchen, suddenly remembering he wasn't supposed to leave it.

"Really, Jensen?" Jared asked, coming into the hall. "You couldn't stay in the kitchen like I asked?"

Caught, Jensen turned toward him sheepishly. "Sorry. Couldn't help it. I thought you might need back up."

"Back up?" Jared echoed. "You don't even have a weapon on you, Jen," he said in exasperation. "What part of you being in danger don't you get? Next I tell you to stay put, you stay put!"

"I'm not some fucking dog," Jensen grumbled, frowning at him. "And it's not like I've never faced danger before. I am a firefighter."

"The situation is totally different," Jared argued, "and you know it."

"Fine, whatever," Jensen muttered, not feeling up to arguing.

Jared took him by the arm. "Come on. You need to sit."

Jensen allowed himself to be led into the living room. Jared eased him onto the sofa, but when he tried to get Jensen to lie down, he resisted. "Cut it out, man," he murmured for Jared's ears only. "We've got company."

"You'll feel better if you're lying down," Jared insisted stubbornly, pushing at Jensen's shoulders.

"Damn it, Jared," Jensen hissed, face flaming in embarrassment. Mike Rosenbaum, Jared's partner, was just behind Jared, looking amused. "Will you just stop?"

"I will when you lie down." Jared was adamant.

Jensen grumbled, but gave in, allowing Jared to help him lie down.

"Hey, Jensen, how are you feeling?" Mike asked, openly grinning at the two of them.

"I'm doing okay," Jensen said, glaring at Jared as he tucked a pillow under Jensen's head.

"I can see that," Mike said with a little laugh.

"He needs to rest," Jared inserted, sitting on the coffee table within hand's reach of Jensen. "You have news?"

Mike sobered, taking a seat in a nearby wing chair. "Yeah. Forensics came through. We found some fingerprints along the doorknob of the front door. They belong to Chad Michael Murray. What's more, we have at least two witnesses that can attest to seeing a motorcycle, matching a description to the one Chad owns, on the block that night."

"Chad?" Jensen asked incredulously, making a move to sit up.

Without even looking in his direction, Jared put a hand on his shoulder, keeping him in place. "You sure?"

Mike nodded. "We have an APB out for him now."

"Jared, Sophia is gonna freak," Jensen said, still stunned.

Jared nodded. "Yeah." He turned to look at Jensen. "But you know as well as I do that he has motive."

"Motive?" Mike asked sharply. "Care to elaborate?"

Jensen told him about the party and the argument between Chad and Chris.

"The two of them have had a rivalry for years," Jared added.

"They were both in love with Sophia," Jensen said, feeling sad for his friend.

"There was no love lost between them," Jared said.

"Motive and opportunity," Mike said. "It doesn't get any better than this."

A yawn took Jensen by surprise.

Jared frowned at him and stood up. "Was that all, Mike?"

Mike was staring at Jensen as he nodded. "Yeah, that's it. I should be going."

"Hey," Jensen protested. "Wait a minute. What about Sophia? Have you talked to her? Does she know?"

"First place we tried, Jensen," Mike said quietly. "Chad wasn't home. Hasn't been for the last two days."

Jensen blinked at him. Mike's form wavered like a bad picture on the television screen. "Mike?" he slurred.

"I need to get him to bed," Jared murmured. "Let me know when you catch him."

"I will," Mike assured. "Jensen going to be okay?"

"Yeah. Pain pills always knock him for a loop."

"Stop," Jensen mumbled. "Right here."

"'Course you are, Jen," Jared said cheerfully.

"I'll just let myself out," Mike murmured.

Jared's face swam in front of Jensen's eyes. He pawed at Jared's chest. "Jared? Jared?"

"I'm right here," Jared murmured. "Come on. Let's get you to your room. You'll be more comfortable sleeping in a bed."

"You...look all...smudgy," Jensen mumbled as Jared guided him to his feet. The room tipped from side to side and he latched onto Jared. "Have...have you gotten dirty?"

Jared laughed, looping an arm around his waist. "No, man. That's just the pills. They make you a little crazy."

"I'm not crazy." Jensen tried to sound indignant, but that was hard to do when he was snuggled up against Jared's side, feeling content.

~.~.~

 

Jared huffed an affectionate laugh. "Come on," he said. "Time for all little firefighters to get some sleep."

"No, Jared," Jensen slurred, eyelashes dipping to brush his cheeks. The exhaustion shone from his unfocused eyes. "Don' wanna sleep."

Jared pressed his lips together. Pain killers made Jensen clumsy and uncoordinated. Unfortunately, it also made Jensen as slippery as an eel and it was hard to get him settled into bed.

"Lemme alone," Jensen teetered on the edge of the bed, slipping out of Jared's desperate grasp. One of his feet landed on the floor and he managed to stand for a brief second before toppling against Jared.

Jared gathered Jensen in his arms, lifting him back onto the bed.

Jensen arched his back, a garbled moan flying from his lips.

"Sorry, Jen, sorry," Jared murmured, stricken. Trying to move an uncooperative Jensen with back pain wasn't easy. Each grunt of agony seemed to rip off a chunk of Jared's heart.

Jensen was oblivious to Jared's apology. He rolled onto his side, panting. "No sleep," he mumbled.  
"Yes, sleep," Jared countered, putting a hand to Jensen's chest, hoping to keep him in place.

It turned out there was no need. Jensen lay still, the pills dragging him further into sleep despite his protests.

"That's it, Jen," Jared said quietly. "Quit fighting it. Just rest."

"Jared?" Jensen asked sleepily as his eyes drifted closed.

"Yeah?"

"Stay?"

Jared smiled and ran a hand through Jensen's hair, softly rubbing his scalp. Jensen sighed in appreciation. "Okay." He didn't even hesitate. After tucking a blanket around Jensen, he slid in next to him, wrapping an arm around his waist.

For the first time since that awful phone call, Jared was able to relax.

"S'good," Jensen managed as he yawned.

"Yeah," Jared said affectionately. "It's very good."

It was very good to have Jensen where he belonged.

~.~.~

 

There was a little color in Jensen's cheeks. His breathing was even and the pain lines that had seemed to be permanently etched in his face had faded. He slept on as Jared noted these positive changes.

Jared snuggled closer to his best friend, his arm tightening around the trim waist. In the last few months, he'd been dreaming about doing this, but he hadn't dared to say anything. He hadn't wanted to risk his friendship with Jensen.

Jared had been so stupid.

An attempt on Jensen's life had been all it took to realize that.

Jared nuzzled Jensen's temple, breathing the scent of him in, happy in the knowledge that Jensen was safe. And Jared swore to himself that he would keep him that way.

Jensen snuggled closer to him, breath brushing at Jared's throat.

Jared squeezed his eyes shut, muffling a groan. Jensen felt so good lying against him; so sleepy and warm. Jared could get used to this and he was hoping for the chance to do so.

But not until Jensen was feeling better and the threat to him was gone.

Jensen stirred.

Jared waited.

Jensen gave a muted squeak and tried to pull away from him.

"It's okay," Jared murmured. "We're okay."

"Yeah?" Jensen asked cautiously, still lying rigidly against Jared.

Jared cupped his neck; his thumb lazily rubbing along Jensen's skin. "Uh-huh. All good," he said as Jensen relaxed against him.

"How do you feel?" Jared asked.

"Mmmm..." Jensen put a hand on Jared's hip. "Feel good. Slept like a baby."

"Good," Jared said, still stroking the soft skin. "You needed it."

"Guess I did," Jensen agreed.

"You up for some dinner?" Jared asked.

"Didn't we just have lunch?" Jensen asked, puzzled.

Jared glanced at the clock on the nightstand. "Jen, you've slept all afternoon."

"Time to eat again?" Jensen asked.

"Yeah," Jared responded. "And don't say no."

Jensen looked up at him, a small smile gracing his lips. "Okay."

Dinner was a small affair. More soup for Jensen plus a half a sandwich that Jared managed to get him to eat.

When they were done and Jared had piled their dishes in the sink, they moved to the living room and sank onto the couch.

Jared lifted the remote and turned on the television, surfing through the channels until he landed on a black and white film he knew both of them liked.

It was quiet for a while, save for the voices coming from the television.

Soon, though, Jared became aware of the quiet hitches in Jensen's breathing. "Jen?" he asked, concerned.

Jensen let out a shuddering breath. "You remember the last time we saw this movie?" he asked, voice clogged with tears. "You and I went out with Chris and the girl we set him up with?"

Realization dawned and with it a spark of guilt. It was only supposed to be movie night. He hadn't meant to upset Jensen. "Worst date in history," he managed.

"I don't know," Jensen said, leaning against him. "We had a good time."

Jared grabbed his hand and laced their fingers together. "We always have a good time when we're together."

"True," Jensen agreed.

"But that night Chris was miserable," Jared continued, remembering. "He'd just gotten back from Nashville with nothing much to show for his trip."

"Guess it was a bad idea to set him up with a girl when all he wanted to do was hang out with us," Jensen said.

"Probably," Jared said, "but it was okay once we took the girl home and came back here."

"He just needed his friends," Jensen said. He was quiet for a minute. Then he added, his voice breaking, "kind of like he does now."

Jared slipped an arm around his shoulders, hugging Jensen to his side. "I know you miss him," he said quietly. "I do, too."

"I can't..." Jensen cleared his throat when it cracked. "I can't believe he's gone."

Jared rubbed the ball of Jensen's shoulder, letting his tender touch say what he could not verbalize. There was nothing he could say to make this better.

Jensen burrowed into him, a tiny moan escaping from his mouth.

"Maybe this isn't the most comfortable position for you," Jared said, grateful to have something to focus on, something that he could possibly fix. "Why don't you lie down?"

Jensen made a sound of protest, wrapping his arm around Jared's waist. "Not yet," he murmured, a touch of pain lacing his words. "I just...need a minute."

Jared thought about denying him, forcing him to lie down—he couldn't stand to hear the pain in Jensen's voice—but he let it go. He understood in that moment that Jensen needed him. And in truth, having Jensen so close made Jared feel better, too.

Jensen clung to him and Jared felt tears trickle down his chest.

Jared kissed the top of Jensen's head, holding him until the tears stopped. When Jensen shivered in his arms, he decided that it was time for Jensen to finally rest. "Ready to go back to bed?"

"Can we...just stay here?" Jensen asked.

"We can do that."

"Thanks, Jared," Jensen said earnestly. "For being here."

"Where else would I be?" Jared asked. "It's my house," he added with a smile, trying to joke around the sudden lump in his throat.

"You know what I mean," Jensen said quietly as he finally laid down.

Jared nodded."I'm not going anywhere," he said huskily. Not ever, he wanted to add and he realized that he meant it. He made sure Jensen was comfortable, head and shoulders pillowed in his lap. "You okay?"

Jensen let out a sigh. "I'm fine."

Jared laid a hand against Jensen's back, feeling the rigid muscles against his palm. Jensen was in pain again and didn't want to admit it. He stroked his hand up and down Jensen's spine, mindful of the huge black and blue bruise hidden under Jensen's t-shirt. After a few minutes, he felt Jensen's body go limp.

"That's it, Jen, just relax," he murmured.

In a few minutes, Jensen was asleep.

Jared continued to run a soothing hand along Jensen's back, not wanting to break the contact. The Marx Brothers continued their antics on the TV, and Jared smiled from time to time, but he spent most of the night watching Jensen as he slept.

~.~.~

 

Jensen awoke the next morning, feeling better. A full night's sleep had done wonders and he knew it was all thanks to Jared.

Thinking of Jared made Jensen look around. He frowned when he realized he was alone on the couch. Sitting up, he felt a twinge of pain travel up his back. He ignored it and stood up, letting his blanket fall away. Immediately, he felt the cold sink into his bones. Texas heat or not, Jensen hadn't felt warm since before the fire. The air conditioner hadn't been set too high so Jensen knew it had nothing to do with it. Especially when he realized the only time he felt truly warm was when Jared was nearby.

Sounds were coming from the kitchen, alerting Jensen to Jared's whereabouts. When he entered the kitchen, Jared was on the phone, his back to him.

"Genevieve," Jared was saying in irritation. "I've already explained why I haven't returned any of your messages. I don't see why I have to say it again."

Jensen fumbled toward a chair at the kitchen table and sat down. He watched as Jared threw open the refrigerator door and started pulling out eggs for breakfast. It was a lost cause when he banged them on the counter and they broke.

"Damn it, Genevieve!" Jared snarled into the phone. "I'm not having this conversation with you!"

There was a pause, but Jensen could hear Genevieve because she was yelling.

"You need to make a choice, Jared," she screamed. "Who's more important to you?"

"You don't want to ask me that," Jared growled.

"Answer me!"

"Jensen. You hear me, Genevieve?" Jared said in a deadly quiet tone. "Jensen is more important! Always has been, always will be. Got it? He's my priority."

There was silence on the other end.

Jensen stared wide-eyed at Jared. Something like happiness flowed through him even if it was tinged with guilt at possibly ruining Jared's relationship with Genevieve.

"If that's the way you want it," Jared said in a hard voice. "Fine by me. Maybe you'll quit bothering me now." He stabbed a button on his cellphone and put it on the counter. "Fucking bitch," he murmured.

"Jared? What did you just do?" Jensen asked, knowing exactly what happened.

Jared jerked around. "Fuck, Jen, I didn't know you were there. How are you feeling?"

"Fine," Jensen answered. "Did you just break up with Genevieve?"

Jared let out a sigh. "It's been a long time coming," he said. "She's never really understood..."

"Understood what?" Jensen asked, having a pretty good idea what Jared meant, but needing to hear it out lout all the same.

"Us," Jared said simply. "She tried to come between us. That doesn't happen and I certainly wasn't going to let her do it."

Jensen was quiet for a minute, unsure of what to say. He agreed completely with Jared. They were so close that it was hard to let other people in. "I'm sorry she wasn't the one, Jared," he finally said quietly.

Jared shrugged, face flushing. "It wouldn't have worked out. She just couldn't compete."

Jensen's heart started to pound. "Compete?" he repeated. "You...you mean with me?"

"Yeah," Jared muttered, looking away.

"So you feel something for me?" Jensen breathed as he got to his feet. He closed the gap between them.

Jared looked up at him. "Yeah, I feel something for you. You're my best friend, Jen."

"Quit jerking me around," Jensen implored. "Tell me the truth."

Jared let out a breath. "I don't know when it happened, Jen, but yeah, what I feel for you goes beyond friendship."

Jensen touched Jared's cheek. "Glad to hear it," he said thickly. "It means I can do this now." He tilted his head upward and placed a chaste kiss to Jared's lips.

Jared grabbed him around the waist, pulling their bodies flush together, kissing him back with ardor. "Jensen," he moaned breathlessly when they broke apart.

"Yeah, Jared," Jensen said. "I'm right here."

~.~.~

 

Jared touched Jensen's cheek, feeling the slight stubble against his fingertips. It was a strange, yet wonderful sensation, and he couldn't help wondering what had taken him so long to do this. Not wanting to wait another second, he tipped his head down, and again covered Jensen's mouth with his own, cupping the back of Jensen's neck and deepening the kiss. He closed his eyes and let his mind drift off into the moment. What was once fantasy was now reality and Jared wanted to embrace it all. Moaning low in his throat, he touched Jensen's lips with his tongue, brushing them with feather-like strokes, begging for entrance.

Jensen grabbed onto his hips as his mouth opened and their tongues glided together tentatively for the first time.

Jared couldn't breathe, didn't want to breathe, if it meant breaking the kiss. He couldn't get enough of Jensen.

Jensen made a small noise, tugging at Jared's hips.

In a euphoric haze, Jared gave in willingly, rocking against Jensen. He thought it might be time to retire to his room where they could move this to a horizontal level.

Jensen pushed at his sides, pulling away. "Jared," he gasped.

Jared saw his mouth move and unable to resist the pull, he kissed Jensen again.

Jensen was clutching at Jared's shoulders now, fingers twisting into the fabric of Jared's t-shirt. He pulled Jared closer even as he pushed himself against Jared, fusing them together.

It felt perfect to Jared.

"Jared." Jensen's warm breath tickled at Jared's lips. "The door."

"What?" Jared mumbled, kissing Jensen again. There was something addicting about Jensen's lips.

Jensen pushed at his shoulder. "The door," he gasped. "Someone's at the door."

Jared pulled back and looked at Jensen with confusion. Then he heard it. The doorbell. "Fuck," he murmured, "what horribly bad timing."

"I know," Jensen said, licking his kiss-swollen lips.

Jared couldn't resist. He stole another kiss then really looked at Jensen. Somehow, Jared had managed to propel Jensen across the floor so that he was leaning back against the kitchen counter, shirt rucked up, exposing the pale and tantalizing skin of his stomach. Jensen's hair, too, was mussed where Jared had run his fingers through it.

Staring at him now, Jared realized how entirely gorgeous Jensen looked. His green eyes were the color of glittering emeralds and they shone up at Jared.

Jensen was his and looked ready for the taking.

"Don't you think we should answer that?" Jensen asked in a husky whisper.

"Probably," Jared murmured back, unwilling to let go of Jensen.

The doorbell rang again and again.

"Whoever it is, is getting impatient," Jensen told him.

Jared reluctantly stepped away from Jensen. "I'll get it."

"I'll come with you." Jensen straightened and a frisson of pain crossed his face.

Jared stared at him in dismay. "Jen? You okay?" he asked anxiously.

"Yeah, just my back," Jensen answered dismissively.

"Fuck, I forgot," Jared said, appalled.

Jensen grinned at him. "Me, too."

The doorbell rang again.

"Damn it!" Jared exploded. "Don't they know they're interrupting a moment here?"

"Apparently not," Jensen said drily. "Come on."

"I want you to stay here this time," Jared said. "I mean it, Jen. Don't leave the kitchen until I come get you."

Jensen rolled his eyes. "I really think you're taking this whole protection thing a little too far."

"Your safety is important to me," Jared snapped.

Jensen held up his hands. "Okay," he said quietly. "Guess if it were the other way around, I'd be overprotective, too."

Jared stared at him for moment. "I don't want to lose you, Jen. I feel like I've just found you."

"I've been here the entire time, Jared," Jensen responded.

"Guess I should have noticed sooner," Jared said.

"Doesn't matter," Jensen said. "We're on the same page now."

"Damn straight," Jared said. He walked across the kitchen, pausing a moment in the doorway to look back at Jensen. "I'll be right back."

Not wanting to be away from Jensen for any longer than he had to, Jared raced down the hall toward the front door. He peaked through the peephole and sighed with relief.

"Hi," he greeted as he opened the door.

Sophia stepped inside, Jake glued to her side. Behind them was Katie. The small group were practically huddled together.

"We thought we'd come by and see how Jensen was doing," Katie said. She looked significantly at Jake. "Jake is a little worried about him."

Jared knelt down in front of Jake. The little boy was uncharacteristically subdued and Jared could see fear in his blue eyes. "Uncle Jensen is just fine," he reassured Jake. The child had been through so much already and things weren't about to get any better. Not with the police after his father.

"He's not gonna go away like Uncle Chris?" Jake asked in a wobbly voice.

Jared swallowed the sudden lump in his throat. "No, Jake, Uncle Jensen isn't going anywhere. In fact, he's in the kitchen. Why don't you go and tell him your mom and Aunt Katie are here so he can say hi."

Jake nodded vigorously, smiling a little. He shot off down the hall, calling, "Uncle Jensen! Uncle Jensen!"

Jared stood up. "Sophia?" he asked, concerned that the woman had yet to say anything. He took in her appearance. Her eyes were red-rimmed, face blotchy. Her summer dress hung on her frame and she was clutching at the material, gathering it at her waist. "I'm sorry about Chris," he added quietly. "I know how much he meant to you."

Sophia bit her lip, eyes filling with tears. "I miss him so much," she whispered. "I can't believe I have to go through the rest of my life without him."

Katie sighed, looking sad, as she wrapped an arm around Sophia.

Jared felt sympathy wash through him. He knew that this had to be a horrendous situation for her. "Sophia, if there's anything you need--"

"Need?" Sophia looked up at him, voice sharp. "I need for you not to go after my husband!"

Jared reared back, surprised. He hadn't been expecting that. "Sophia," he began.

"No. No, Jared!" She screamed at him. "Chris is already gone. You can't take Chad away from me, too. You just can't!"

"Maybe we should leave," Katie interjected.

"Sophia, I really can't discuss the case with you," Jared said calmly.

"He's innocent!" Sophia said hysterically. "It's not him. He didn't kill Chris. He couldn't!"

"If he's innocent the investigation will bear that out," Jared said firmly. "That's all I can tell you."

"Jared," she moaned, tears beginning to fall. "You don't understand. Chad could never hurt anyone."

"Chad threatened Chris," Jared said grimly.

Sophia bit her lip. "I know, but he only did that because he was afraid that Chris was trying to take me away from him."

Jared didn't have the heart to tell her that jealousy was one of the top three motives for murder. "Look, Sophia, Chad will get a fair shake. You have to let the system do its job."

"He's got PTSD," Sophia said. "Will they take that into consideration?"

It was a possible defense and maybe even a good one in the hands of a competent lawyer, but it wasn't Jared's place to say so. "I suggest you get a good lawyer for him, Sophia. That's all I can tell you."

"I think we should go now," Katie said. "I don't think coming here was such a good idea, Sophia."

Jared nodded."You should probably go on home, Sophia. Get some rest. Chad is going to need you."

Something skidded across the floor noisily and the three of them looked to the kitchen, startled. There was an anguished shout and Jared was running.

"Uncle Jensen! Uncle Jensen!" Jake's voice was high-pitched.

When Jared came to a halt inside the kitchen, he saw Jensen kneeling on the floor, one hand braced against the linoleum. He'd gone pale. Even his lips had lost all color. And he was breathing heavily. 

"Jensen!"

Jared knelt down beside him, looping an arm around Jensen's shoulder. "Hey, man," he said softly. "You with me?"

Jensen didn't answer. His eyes were fixed to the floor and they were filling with tears.

"Jensen?" Jared said in alarm, gathering him closer. "Look at me. Talk to me," he pleaded.

"Uncle Jensen?" Jake whispered, putting a small hand on Jensen's shoulder. "Please be okay, Uncle Jensen."

"You're scaring Jake, Jen," Jared whispered in Jensen's ear. "You have to snap out of it."

"Jake," Sophia called from the doorway. "Come here with mommy."

Jensen shuddered in Jared's arms, falling against him. "Jared?"

"You okay?" Jared asked in relief.

Jensen clung to Jared, breath still coming in gasps, tears beginning to roll down his cheeks.

"Don't be sad, Uncle Jensen," Jake said, wiping at Jensen's tears.

Jensen managed a smile. "I'm okay, Jake," he said, "but I would be better if I could get a hug."

Jake threw his arms around Jensen's neck and squeezed.

Jensen, keeping one hand anchored to Jared's shoulder, wrapped an arm around Jake and squeezed back.

Jared looked over at Sophia and Katie. "Maybe ya'll should get going."

Katie nodded. "Come on, Sophia, let's go."

Sophia looked at Jared. "You have to believe me, Jared, Chad didn't kill Chris." She turned to Jensen. "You were there, right, Jensen? You saw who did it? Tell him. Tell Jared that Chad is innocent."

Jensen stared up at her. He was shaking in Jared's arms and Jared tightened his hold. "I—I don't...know. I saw...I think, but...I can't remember. I don't know."

Sophia's face crumpled and she turned away.

Katie looked at Jared apologetically, her own eyes sparkling with tears. "Come on, Jake, time to go."

Jake looked uncertain. "You okay, Uncle Jensen?"

Jensen offered him a tremulous smile. "I'm okay, Jake."

Jake looked at Jared. "Take care of Uncle Jensen, okay? He looks sick. You should make him some chicken soup. That's what mommy does when I'm sick."

"That's a good idea, Jake," Jared said solemnly, feeling his emotions rise up to choke him. "I'll do that."

Jake hugged Jensen once again and walked over to Katie's side.

"Look after her, Katie, please?" Jensen sounded tired and washed out.

"I will," she murmured, turning to go. She looked back and cleared her throat. "The funeral is tomorrow."

Jared nodded. "Thanks."

Katie took Jake's hand and with Sophia, left the kitchen.

"You okay?" he questioned Jensen. "What happened?"

Jensen let out a breath and when he spoke he sounded a lot calmer than he had moments before. "I remembered something."

"Yeah?" Jared breathed.

Jensen nodded. He started to stand, but wobbled and fell back against Jared.

Jared, taking the hint, helped him up off the floor and settled him in a chair. "I'll make tea. You talk."

"Tea?" Jensen asked weakly.

"Tea," Jared said. "It'll settle your nerves."

"You really are a mother hen," Jensen murmured.

Jared waited patiently, letting Jensen wander away from the important conversation at hand. He knew Jensen was spooked by his memory and needed time to pull himself together.

Jensen rubbed his forehead. "Chris came out of the smoke," he said finally. "I was so relieved to see him."

Jared poured hot water over a teabag and set it on the table. Once it had steeped enough, he'd add a dollop of whiskey. "I can imagine."

"But then he...." Jensen's voice trailed off.

Jared sat down across from him, laying a hand on top of Jensen's.

Jensen turned his palm up and wrapped his fingers around Jared's own. He continued, voice low and thick. "He came toward me, stumbling down the stairs. I thought he might have inhaled some smoke so I reached out to help him. He...he...fell against me." Jensen covered his face with his free hand. "That's when I felt the knife sticking out of his back."

Fuck, Jared thought. "Jensen," he murmured, helplessly.

Jensen looked up at him, eyes saturated with pain. "Before...before he d—d--died in my arms he said, Not his. Mine."

Jared frowned. "Do you know what he meant?"

Jensen shrugged. "Not sure, but when I saw Jake I thought he might mean..."

"Oh." Jared pondered that for a moment. They'd always both believed that Jake belonged to Chad, and Chris had never told them otherwise. Until, perhaps, he'd done it with his dying breath. "Certainly sweetens the motive."

"Do you think the memory helped?" Jensen asked earnestly.

Jared shook his head. "Honestly, Jen, we have enough of a case against Chad without the memory."

Jensen's face fell.

Jared knew Jensen only wanted to help. "It certainly didn't hurt. And who knows? It might just be the thing to swing the jury."

Jensen tipped his head in gratitude. "Do you think Chad would consent to a paternity test?"

"Don't know," Jared answered. "We have to catch him first."

Jensen nodded and sighed. "This is so fucked up, Jared."

"Tell me about it." Jared said, pushing the mug toward Jensen. "Here. This will help."

Jensen took the cup gratefully, sipping the hot beverage.

"How's your head?" Jared asked.

Jensen smiled ruefully. "Nothing escapes your notice, does it?"

"Not when it comes to you," Jared answered.

"Head hurts a little, but I'm feeling okay."

"Maybe you need a nap," he suggested and braced himself for the argument his words would surely provoke.

"That's probably a good idea," Jensen murmured. "I'm really tired."

Jared was surprised by Jensen's easy capitulation. "You sure you're okay?"

"Yeah," Jensen responded, eyes drooping. "Hey, Jared? I want to go to the funeral."

Now that, Jared had been expecting. "Not a good idea, Jen," he said. "Not until Chad is arrested. It's not safe."

"I need to go," Jensen whispered. "Besides, what could happen with you right beside me?"

"I don't want to find out," Jared said gruffly.

"Jared," Jensen said firmly. "This isn't up for debate. I'm going. The only question is, are you?"

"Like you even have to ask," Jared said, giving in. This had been a fight he'd been doomed to lose even before it had begun. He'd known that, but he still had had to voice his protests.

Bottom line: They would go, but Jared wasn't going to leave Jensen's side for anything.

And Jensen would be wearing a vest.


	4. Chapter 4

Part 4

"So I don't have to wear the vest?" Jensen asked, holding the flak jacket with distaste.

"It's not a bad idea," Jared hedged.

"I thought you said Mike called and told you they'd arrested Chad," Jensen accused.

"He did," Jared allowed.

"Then I don't need the vest," Jensen said, dropping it to the floor.

Jared scowled at him. "Fine. Don't wear it."

"What?" Jensen asked. "What is it, Jared? You've caught the murderer. I don't understand what the problem is."

"I don't know," Jared muttered. "I just think maybe you should wear it all the time."

Jensen smiled tenderly at him, touching his cheek. "I know what you're trying to do, Jared, but you can't wrap me in bubble wrap or hide me from the world. I fight fires for a living and eventually I'm going to have to go back to work."

"I know it's stupid," Jared sighed.

Jensen shook his head. "It's not." He kissed Jared on the lips. "I wanna keep you safe, too."

"Yeah?" Jared asked.

"Uh-huh," Jensen said. "Think it goes with the territory when you love someone."

A slow smile spread across Jared's face. He liked the sound of that.

"Come on," Jensen said, pulling on his suit jacket. "We should probably get going."

~.~.~

The church was small, but it was the one they always passed on their way to and from school. As a teenager, Chris had often played guitar for the Sunday services.

Jensen entered the church and wasn't surprised to already find it full of people. Chris had been well-liked and had had lots of friends.

"Sophia is down in front," Jared whispered, barely a step behind him. Despite the fact that the threat was gone, he was sticking close to Jensen, hovering at his back just a whisper of space between them.

Jensen found that he didn't mind. Having Jared close made him feel better. "I want to see her."

"I thought you might," Jared responded.

The two walked along the marble floors until they reached the pew where Sophia was sitting. She had a few friends around her most whom Jensen recognized, but didn't know very well.

"Jensen," Sophia cried softly, holding out her hands for him to take.

He did so, squeezing her cold fingers slightly. Pressing a quick kiss to her cheek, he pulled back and whispered, "I'm so sorry, Sophia. For all of it. I wish...." he trailed off. He could wish all he wanted, but it wouldn't bring Chris back or release Chad from jail.

"I know," Sophia said quietly, tears cascading down her cheeks. "I wish things were different, too." She bit her lip, then squared her shoulders. "I just want both of you to know that Chad didn't do this. He might not have liked Chris, but he wouldn't kill him."

Jensen looked sadly at her. "Sophia," he started to say.

She shook her head. "That's all I'm going to say. I've got him a good lawyer. He's not going to jail for something he didn't do."

Jensen felt the awkward tension set in. He didn't know what to say. She was obviously convinced of her husband's innocence.

Jared, who had been standing quietly behind him, came to the rescue. "Jake?" he asked. "He doing okay?"

Sophia nodded. "Yeah. He's staying with Katie. He's too young to understand what's really going on and it's already been hard on him."

"I can imagine," Jensen said. "We've just got to be there for him."

For a moment Sophia looked angry. "It would be better if Jake could have his daddy with him."

Jensen exchanged uneasy glances with Jared.

Sophia let out a sigh, her shoulders slumping. "Don't mind me, Jensen. Things have been tough for the last few days and I haven't been getting enough sleep."

Jensen leaned in and gave her a hug. "I really am sorry."

"I know," Sophia said, offering him a sad smile. Then she nodded toward the opposite side of the church. "You might want to check up on your partner. She just walked in."

Jensen glanced over and noticed Danneel sitting in one of the pews. Sophia had given him an out and he wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth. "We'll talk later."

"I'm sure we will," Sophia answered with a tight smile.

"That was awkward," Jensen muttered as he made his way toward Danneel.

Jared placed a hand to the small of his back, guiding him through the throng of mourners, and offering support. Jensen was grateful for it.

"Gotta understand it from her point of view," Jared said. "Her husband's been accused of killing her high school sweetheart. She's holding together as best as she can."

"Yeah, I guess so." Jensen still felt troubled. He wondered if their friendship would survive this.

"Jensen," Danneel greeted him.

They hugged.

"It's good to see you," Jensen breathed.

"How are you feeling?" Danneel asked. "You taking care of my boy, Jared?"

"Doin' my best," Jared drawled, "but he's a handful."

"I'm sure he is." Danneel winked.

"Will you two cut it out?" Jensen said, blushing. "We're at a funeral."

Danneel patted his hand. "You're so easy."

"Don't I wish," Jared muttered behind him.

Jensen bumped his shoulder into Jared's chest. "Jared," he hissed.

"Right. Not the right place or time. Got it," Jared mock grumbled.

Danneel eyed the two of them with interest. "Guess you two finally figured it out."

Jensen nodded, looking away. "Yeah," he mumbled.

"I'm really happy for you," Danneel said sincerely. She looked around before her gaze zeroed back in on the two of them. "I just wish the circumstances were different."

"Me, too," Jensen said somberly.

There was a moment of silence.

"So, are you doing okay?" Danneel asked again, looking him over.

"Yeah," Jensen answered. "I'm doing pretty good except for the whole memory thing."

"Sucks," Danneel said.

"It does," Jensen agreed.

Jared laid a hand on his shoulder. "You shouldn't worry so much about it, Jen."

"He's right," Danneel said.

"I know," Jensen said softly. "I just hate that there's stuff missing."

Jared squeezed his shoulder reassuringly. "Maybe we ought to go and sit down," he suggested.

"I'll see you after?" Jensen asked Danneel.

"Yeah," Danneel said. "Since they arrested Chad, I'm no longer under lock and key."

"I know what you mean," Jensen murmured, looking over his shoulder at Jared. "I'm not sure if I would have been allowed to come to the funeral had it not been for Chad's arrest."

"It would have been for your own protection," Jared rumbled.

"I know," Jensen said. He looked back at Danneel. "See you later."

They exchanged parting hugs before finding seats of their own. No sooner had they slid into a pew when a familiar figure walked up to them.

"Steve." Jensen's greeting was heartfelt. He wrapped his arms around the blond man and gave him a tight hug. From behind him, he heard Jared murmur a quiet, "Hi, Steve."

"Hey, Jensen," Steve said, returning the hug. His small smile was watery. "I'd say it's good to see you, but under the circumstances...." his voice trailed off.

Jensen nodded, feeling tears prick at the eyes. "I know," he said softly. He glanced toward the closed casket at the front of the church. "But I think Chris would be glad you made it."

Steve cleared his throat. "Yeah," he mumbled, voice sounding strange.

Jensen looked back at him. "Hey," he said, "I know how you feel. I miss him, too."

"Can't believe he's gone," Steve muttered, passing a hand over his face.

"I know," Jensen answered softly then added, "We actually talked about you a couple of days before he...died." Jensen stumbled over the last word.

Steve gave him a startled look. "Really?" he asked guardedly. "How so?"

"One of your new songs came on the radio," Jensen replied distantly as he remembered that day.

"What did Chris think about it?" A shadow came over Steve's face.

Jensen laid a hand on Steve's arm. "You okay?"

"Uh, yeah," Steve said. "It's just that Chris and I, well, we never got a chance to talk about my new stuff. It would have been nice to know what he thought."

"He liked it," Jensen said. He frowned as something niggled at the back of his mind. The expression on Chris' face that day had been a little strange. Jensen couldn't pinpoint why and now it bothered him. He remembered that they had discussed the song, but then Jensen had left.

"What is it, Jensen?" Steve asked anxiously. "Do you remember something?"

Jensen blinked. "Huh? What?"

Steve looked sheepish. "When I found out about Chris, I heard about the fire. You saw the murderer, right? And then you got hurt. Now you have traumatic amnesia."

"Oh, yeah," Jensen said. "At first I couldn't remember what happened that night, but things are starting to come back to me."

Steve narrowed his eyes. "Really?"

Jensen nodded. "Just yesterday I remembered Chris' last words." He let out a watery sigh. That memory had haunted him all of last night. If it hadn't been for Jared's comforting presence beside him in bed, Jensen didn't think he wouldn't have gotten any sleep. As it was, the sleep he did get was not very restful.

"What did he say?" Steve asked urgently, leaning in toward him.

Jensen's brow wrinkled in puzzlement, but he answered. "He said, 'Mine. Not his.'"

Steve put a hand on Jensen's shoulder, gripping it tightly. "And do you know what he meant?"

Jensen slowly shook his head. "Man, where's all of this coming from? Why is it important for you to know?"

"He was my friend," Steve snapped. "I have a right to know what he said before he fucking died!"

The church, already quiet save for the low murmur of voices, went completely silent at Steve's outburst.

Jensen was staring at him, eyes wide.

"You okay, Steve?" Jared asked in concern.

"Yeah, sorry," Steve mumbled, rubbing his eyes. "Really sorry, Jen. Don't know what came over me."

Jensen patted his shoulder. "It's okay, Steve. I was angry, too."

"You were?" Steve asked, puzzled.

"Chris left me. I felt guilty for not saving him. Pick a reason. Either one made me mad."

Jared put his arm around Jensen's shoulders. "It's okay to feel angry. It's part of the grief cycle," he said, kissing the top of Jensen's head.

"Yeah, guess you're right," Steve said, watching them. "You guys are together now?"

"Yes," Jared said.

Steve smiled. "Nice to hear something good. I know Chris would have approved. He always said you two were a couple even though you didn't know it."

Jensen smiled wistfully. "He was right."

Steve glanced toward the front of the church. "Looks like the service is about to start. I'd better find my seat."

Jensen would have offered a seat, but their pew was full. "If you want to come over and talk, I'm staying at Jared's."

"I just might take you up on that," Steve said before walking away.

"He was acting a little strange," Jared remarked.

Jensen shrugged. "He's angry."

"Something's off about him, Jen," Jared said slowly.

"What are you saying, Jared?" Jensen whispered as the minister began the service.

"I don't know," Jared said. "I can't put my finger on it."

"He and Chris were really great friends," Jensen said, still whispering. "They met in Nashville and hit it off. They started writing music together, but it never really went anywhere. Maybe Steve's just having a hard time dealing with Chris' death."

"Maybe," Jared allowed, but said nothing more.

Jensen sighed. Sometimes Jared saw shadows where there were none.

~.~.~

The sun was bright and the air was muggy. It did not reflect the sad and somber atmosphere that lay like a shroud over Chris' grave.

Despite the heat, Jensen shivered. The church service had gone well; sad, but uplifting at the same time as a few of Chris' close friends had gotten up to talk about their friend. That was something Jensen couldn't do. Just listening to the good memories of Chris made his throat feel tight.

"You okay?" Jared asked, having noticed the shiver.

"I think..." Jensen swallowed. "I'll feel better when we get home."

Jared clasped Jensen's hand, giving it a squeeze. "It won't be much longer now."

Jensen stared at the casket as it was lowered into the ground. It was well and truly real for him now. Chris was really dead. Not coming back. These last few days, he could pretend that Chris was traveling. But, now, Jensen knew that he was gone. His heart twisted in his chest. He missed Chris so much. He wondered if this raw pain would ever go away.

Jared squeezed his hand again, garnering his attention. "Here we go," he murmured.

Jensen looked up just in time to see a line form to his right. He sighed heavily as people began parading in front of him and Sophia, who sat a few chairs down in the front row, offering condolences.

The procession seemed like an eternity. There were many hugs and kisses, a few hearty handshakes, and lots of tears. Standing there, feeling the collective sadness wash over him like a tsunami, Jensen felt exhausted. His shoulders slumped unable to hold up his body against the onslaught. His back ached and his head was beginning to throb. He hadn't lied when he told Jared he was feeling a lot better, but right now, he was anything but.

"You need to sit down?" Jared asked in concern.

The man truly was observant.

"No," Jensen said tiredly. He'd see the day through and when they got home, he was going to fall into bed. Preferably with Jared next to him. "I'm good."

"You don't look so good," Jared said in a low voice.

Jensen looked from the mourners to the coffin, then back to Jared. "I don't suppose I do."

Suddenly, Jared stiffened beside him. "What's he doing here?" he growled under his breath.

"Who?" Jensen asked, following Jared's gaze. His eyebrows shot up in surprise. The last person he expected to see was in the procession line and coming toward them. Jensen took a step toward him, but was caught fast by Jared's grip on his hand. "You're fine just where you are, Jen."

Jensen felt a bolt of irritation shoot through him, but he remained by Jared's side. He wouldn't cause a scene at Chris' funeral. "Hi, Tom," Jensen said as a tall, well-built man came abreast of them.

"You shouldn't be here," Jared muttered.

"Jared," Jensen hissed.

"I just came by to pay my respects," Tom Welling said evenly.

"Why?" Jared shot back. "Chris didn't like you."

Jensen sucked in a breath. While it was true, he wished that Jared hadn't said anything. "Come on, Jared," he began.

"Doesn't matter," Tom responded in a tight voice. "He was Jensen's friend. Least I can do is to be here for Jen."

"I don't fucking think so," Jared snarled. "Get the fuck out of here!"

Tom closed the distance between him and Jared.

"No," Jensen moaned, feeling as if he was watching a runaway train about to wreck. "Stop it, guys," he implored. "This isn't the time or the place."

The two men ignored him as they faced off.

"You can't tell me what to do, Padalecki," Tom said, fists clenching at his sides.

"You're not wanted here," Jared said, each word bitten off. "Jensen doesn't need you. Go away."

"And he needs you?" Tom drawled. "Is that it? Looking to shoving me aside and step in?"

Jensen stared at Tom, appalled. "Tom, you and I aren't together anymore."

"And who's fault is that?" Tom returned. He jerked a thumb at Jared. "If this asshole wouldn't keep getting between us, we'd be fine."

"Jared's never tried to get between us," Jensen protested.

"All you ever talk about is him. Jared this. Jared that," Tom said, mimicking Jensen. "It's Padalecki all the fucking time."

"That should have been your first clue," Jared said coldly, "but you're too stupid to know when you've been outclassed."

"Outclassed?" Tom yelled in outrage. "You fucking prick!"

A shot rang out.

Someone cried out.

"Danneel!" Jensen shouted, staring in horror as his friend toppled to the ground. He started toward her, Jared and Tom forgotten.

Chaos erupted as mourners began to run, shoving folding chairs to the ground, and tripping over flower arrangements, knocking them over.

Jensen only had eyes for Danneel. He saw one of his fellow firefighters reach for her.

"No, Jen!" Jared shouted, grabbing his arm and dragging him close. "We gotta make a run for the car! Keep your head down!"

"But, Danneel!" Jensen cried, free arm outstretched toward his friend, even as Jared propelled him across the grass.

Another shot rang out, kicking up dirt about a foot away from Jensen.

"Fuck," Jensen breathed.

"Move, Jen! Move!" Jared's grip on him was hard and unyielding. Jensen knew he was going to have bruises to show for it, but he didn't care. He picked up his feet, trying to keep up with Jared's longer strides. He chanced a look back. Danneel was racing in the other direction, obviously under her own steam. Two of their colleagues were practically covering her as they ran. He sent up a quick prayer of thanks, stumbling against Jared as he did so.

"Keep up, Jen!" Jared ordered, panting harshly as he towed Jensen along.

The car came into view.

Jared already had his keys out and he pushed the 'open' button on the key fob. In a matter of seconds, he was pushing Jensen into the back seat, hand on Jensen's head. "On the floor, Jen! And don't get up until I give you the all clear!" Without waiting for an answer, Jared slammed the door.

There was another shot and Jensen felt something slam into the car. Jensen hunched into a ball. "Jared!" he screamed, panicked. "Jared!"

Jared slid into the front seat, engine roaring to life almost simultaneously. "Right here, Jen," he said breathlessly. "Hang on. I'm gonna get you out of here!"

"Are you okay?" Jensen wanted to know. "You aren't hit, are you?"

"No," came the distracted answer as the car rocketed forward.

Jensen flew back, hitting the seat.

"Hang on!" Jared's warning came too late.

The car careened from one side to the other. Jensen bounced like a pinball, the hump that divided the footwells slamming into his side. He grunted.

"Jensen?" Jared questioned.

"I'm fine," Jensen responded.

"We're almost there," Jared said grimly.

"Can you slow down?" Jensen asked as Jared took a corner fast. To Jensen, it felt as if one of the wheels had temporarily left the ground. He clutched at the seat pocket behind Jared and held on as the tires screeched against asphalt.

"Can't slow down!" Jared called back.

Jensen closed his eyes as every bump in the road slammed into his side. A burst of pain shot through his shoulder and he gritted his teeth. "Hurry," he muttered, thinking he couldn't take much more of this.

The engine jerked to a stop, engine ticking over and settling once Jared had turned off the ignition.

They sat in silence for a minute.

Jared let out a breath. "Stay right where you are, Jen. Let me get the door open and I'll come back for you."

Jensen opened his mouth to protest, but Jared was already exiting the car, slamming the door behind him. All Jensen could do was wait.

Jared was back soon enough, hustling him across the lawn, practically bending Jensen in half and hovering over his back. By the time Jensen was pushed into the house, he was a sweating wreck and in pain.

~.~.~

"You okay?" Jared barked as he slammed the door and locked it. He leaned back against it, eyes roving over Jensen anxiously.

Jensen looked shaken, green eyes wide in a pale face. In answer to Jared's question, he nodded.

Jared took a deep breath and let it out slowly, feeling his heartbeat slow. Jensen looked shellshocked, but he was here and he was safe. "You sure?"

"Yeah," Jensen said, dazed. "Few more bumps and bruises, maybe, but I'm alive. Thanks to you."

"You're alive." Jared's voice cracked. "God, Jensen, you're alive." It had been a close call this time. The attack had been unexpected, catching Jared unawares. His mouth suddenly went dry and he felt cold and clammy all over. He'd been distracted. Things could have gone so wrong. It was a miracle that they hadn't.

"Jared?" Jensen took a step toward him. He laid a hand on Jared's arm, eyebrows arching in surprise. "Jared! You're trembling. Fuck, you were hit, weren't you."

Jensen's hands were all over him, touching his shoulders, brushing over his chest, sweeping down his hips. Jared could only stand there, drinking in the fact that Jensen was right there, breathing, whole and alive.

"Damn it, Jared!" Jensen said, biting his lip. "Don't do this to me. Say something!"

Jared blinked at him.

"Jared?" Jensen had a hold of his arms. He was staring up at Jared, lower lip rosy and plump.

Staring into Jensen's eyes, Jared cupped his face. He swooped down, capturing Jensen's lips with his own. Jared's hands slipped into Jensen's hair, fingers tangling in the short blond strands. When he pulled away, they were both breathing heavily.

Jensen, looking dazed, touched his lip.

Watching those fingers sweep over that lush mouth, Jared fumbled in his pocket for his phone. He needed Jensen right the fuck now, but he needed to do something first. A quick glance down and he typed a short text message. Then he grabbed Jensen by the arm and pulled him toward the bedroom.

"You're...you're always haulin' me around," Jensen murmured, following him.

"Gotta have you with me," Jared muttered as they entered his room. He let go of Jensen and ran a hand through his hair. "God, Jensen, I almost lost you."

"I'm fine," Jensen said quietly. "Nothing happened to me."

"But it could have," Jared insisted, rounding on him. "Someone shot at you!"

"Yeah, I know," Jensen said drily. "I was there."

"Stop! Just stop!" Jared said, advancing on him. "Don't you fucking dare make a joke out of this."

Jensen sighed. "I'm not making a joke." He sank down onto Jared's bed. "I'm just trying not to think about it too much."

"It's all I can think about," Jared confessed. "I was right next to you today, Jen, and I couldn't do a damn thing to stop what was happening."

"How could you?" Jensen asked reasonably. "We both thought there was no danger."

"And I was fucking wrong!" Jared snarled, beginning to pace. "It shouldn't have happened. Not on my watch."

"It didn't happen," Jensen responded. "You got me out of there. You saved my life, Jared," he added softly.

Jared stopped and stared at him, anger and recrimination still crowding his mind. "Don't you see, Jen," he cried. "This is the second time this week I've nearly lost you." He looked away, fists clenched at his sides. When he spoke again, his voice sounded like crushed glass. "I've just realized what you mean to me, Jen, and I can't risk losing that. I can't risk losing you."

Jensen stood up and walked toward Jared, only stopping when he was in the other man's space. He picked up Jared's hand on placed it along his neck, right over his pulse. "Feel that?" he whispered. "Means I'm right here."

Jared clenched his eyes shut, feeling the precious thump against his fingers. "Right here," he repeated.

"That's right," Jensen said.

Jared slid his hand down Jensen's throat to his torso. He tugged Jensen's shirt up and slipped his hand underneath, settling a palm over Jensen's chest, right over his heart. He let out a shuddering breath. Jensen's heart was beating and his skin was so warm. Jared felt some of the cold that had been eating at his soul slowly disappear. "Need you," he choked out.

Jensen, eyes never leaving Jared's face, slipped out of his jacket, tossing it onto the floor. He unbuttoned his shirt and slipped out of it, never dislodging Jared's hand. "Jared," he said, and it was an invitation.

"Need you so bad, Jen," Jared murmured. "Wanna feel you. Gotta know you're right here with me." He knew he sounded desperate, needy, but he didn't care.

Jensen cupped his cheek and kissed him lightly. "Then feel me," he murmured against Jared's lips. "Touch me," he paused, breaths coming in soft pants. "Bring us together, Jared, so you'll know I'll never leave you."

"Jen," Jared muttered thickly, pushing him onto the bed. He climbed on top of Jensen, hands and knees braced on either side of him. He devoured Jensen's mouth, plundering the moist cavern with his tongue.

"Clothes, Jared," Jensen murmured, breaking the kiss. "Off. Now."

Jared hastily pulled off his jacket.

Jensen watched him, licking his lips, eyes hooded.

Jared's fingers suddenly felt uncoordinated. He gripped the hem of his dress shirt and yanked. Buttons scattered everywhere as he tore the shirt off.

"Hey," Jensen said softly. "No hurry, Jared."

"Don't wanna take my time," Jared murmured huskily. "Need you right now." He felt the need to claim Jensen, to make the man his. Maybe once he crawled inside of Jensen, then he'd know Jensen was safe, and the panic and fear would go away.

Jensen nodded, easing up to get his own undershirt off.

Jared reached for Jensen's shoes, pulling them off his feet, socks too. He unbuttoned Jensen's pants and slid them and his boxers down his legs, throwing them to the floor.

"So fucking beautiful, Jen," Jared said reverently, gaze drifting over Jensen's body. His desire ratcheted up a notch and he made short work of removing the rest of his clothes.

Jensen held open his arms, and Jared fell into them, rolling them onto the bed.

Jared, hand sliding over Jensen's stomach, said: "You sure about this, Jen?"

Jensen stared up at him, licking his lips. "Don't you dare fucking stop, Padalecki."

Jared gave a short laugh before bestowing a kiss.

"You have...stuff?" Jensen asked breathlessly.

Every night, Jared's lustful thoughts had fueled his dreams. Jensen's warm body pressed against his hadn't helped. However, he thought he'd be prepared just in case. He reached into the nightstand and pulled out a tube. "Yeah."

"Good," Jensen said, pulling Jared back down on top of him. "Show me how much you need me, Jay."

"I'm gonna take good care of you, Jen," Jared said, kissing his way down Jensen's chest, hands sweeping over his sides. "Now and always."

Jensen groaned as Jared dragged his nails through Jensen's treasure trail and further, curling his hand around Jensen and feeling his turgid flesh harden in his grip. Jared watched Jensen's face as he stroked him.

"God, Jared," Jensen breathed. "Like that." He bit his lip, grabbing onto the sheets and twisting them in his fingers. "Don't stop. Don't stop."

"I've got you, Jen," Jared said, kissing curve of Jensen's neck where it met his shoulder. He scraped his teeth along the skin, tugging at it lightly.

"Fuck," Jensen muttered, cupping the back of Jared's skull and holding him in place.

Jared sucked lightly at Jensen's skin, wanting to mark him. He continued to tease Jensen, his hand now corkscrewing over Jensen's length.

"Please, Jared," Jensen murmured. "More. More," he moaned. He drew his knees upward, feet pushing into the bed, spreading himself for Jared.

"Fuck, Jen," Jared couldn't stop the groan of pleasure from escaping his mouth as Jensen bared himself to Jared's gaze. Jared felt his own excitement spike, throbbing between his legs. Without letting go of Jensen, he slid his hardness against Jensen's, gripping them together in a snug fist.

Jensen whimpered, hips jerking upward as they touched.

Jared felt heat sear through him, burning along his nerve endings and setting his entire body aflame. "Feels so good, Jen," he said hoarsely as his fist began to pump them together, bringing them closer to the edge.

Jensen gripped his shoulder. "Getting close, Jared. So fucking close. Want you with me. Want you in me."

"Yeah," Jared said breathlessly. He could feel the sweat gathered at the nape of his neck slip down his back, pooling at the base of his spine. He was hot. Jensen was hot. Together they were a raging inferno.

Jared hoped that nothing would ever extinguish their fire.

"Jared," Jensen pleaded. "Jared." It seemed as if he was incapable of saying anything else.

Spreading lube onto his fingers, Jared slowly worked them inside Jensen. First one, than two. He scissored them, loosing the muscle that was clamped tightly around his fingers. "So tight, Jen. So good."

Jensen grunted, pushing himself against Jared's fingers. "Burns, Jared," he said breathlessly. "Need more."

Jared kissed the inside of Jensen's thigh, adding a third digit, carefully working Jensen open. Then he lubed himself up and slid into to Jensen.

"Yes, yes," Jensen murmured, tightening around Jared. "Fuck, move, Jared. You gotta move. Wanna feel you. Move!"

Jared obliged him, moving slowly at first, then picking up speed. Soon they were grunting and panting, sweat making it easier for the bodies to glide together.

Jensen shouted, back arching as he found release.

Jared pumped himself in and out, gripping Jensen's hips.

Jensen watched him through droopy eyes, legs lifting to wrap around Jared's waist, driving Jared deeper inside.

Jared's eyes fluttered, heaving in a breath, as his body shook and flew apart. He was panting when he finally came down, pulling out of Jensen carefully.

"Jen." Jared tumbled down next to Jensen, slipping an arm around his waist and drawing him close.

Jensen snuggled against him, running his fingers along Jared's arm. "Yep, right here."

Jared nodded against Jensen's shoulder, barely able to keep his eyes open. But he had to say something before he could sleep. "Love you, Jen."

"Love you, too, Jared," Jensen whispered.

Jared smiled and drifted off to sleep.

~.~.~

Jensen yawned and stretched, turning to his side to look at Jared, but soon realizing he was alone in bed. He pushed himself up, noticing at once his and Jared's clothes strewn about the room.

Smiling, Jensen got to his feet and picked up his shorts, sliding them on. He snagged a shirt, too, not knowing if it was his or Jared's. When he slipped it on, he knew immediately that the shirt belonged to Jared.

Jensen hesitated for a moment. Would it too weird if he wore Jared's shirt? Was it some kind of girl thing? Did it matter? "Whatever," he said out loud, shrugging. He didn't care how it looked, he just knew that he liked wearing Jared's things.

The scent of coffee teased him and he walked down the hall to the kitchen, drawn to the coffee pot on the counter.

Jared was on the phone, leaning against the sink, but he moved toward Jensen, tilting the phone away from his mouth and planting a light kiss to Jensen's lips.

Jensen smiled and poured himself a cup of the strong, hot brew. He needed the caffeine. Today had been a hell of a day and the only thing he wanted to remember of it was the the time he spent with Jared in bed. Unfortunately, the morning's events would forever be etched in his mind. He ran a hand over his face and sipped his coffee, finally tuning into Jared's half of the phone conversation.

"Yeah, Mike, I heard you the first time," Jared was grumbling. "I know I should have called, but I only had time to text." He looked significantly at Jensen. "I had other things on my mind."

Jensen blushed.

A slow smile spread across Jared's face. He walked around Jensen, leaning over him, and slipping his hand down Jensen's chest. "Love seeing you in my clothes," he whispered throatily.

Jensen ran his fingers along Jared's arm, looking up at him shyly.

Jared stood up abruptly. "Wasn't talkin' to you, Mike," he growled.

Jensen laughed softly.

"So what's the news?" Jared asked, turning serious. He sighed in relief. "Good to know." To Jensen he said, "Danneel is fine. Bullet creased her arm, but otherwise she's okay."

Jensen slumped in relief. He had seen her with his own two eyes, but it was still good to hear. "Thank god."

"Any sign of the shooter?" Jared asked. He began to pace. "He got away? Fuck!" Another sigh. "I know, Mike. I just hate this." His eyes landed on Jensen again. His gaze was stormy, irises lost in a sea of brown.

"I'm okay," Jensen mouthed at him. "Quit worrying."

Jared just shook his head. "What about Chad?" A small pause. Then a resigned nod. "I figured as much. Okay, Mike, let me know if anything new turns up." He disconnected the call.

"What else did Mike have to say?" Jensen asked, shifting in his chair a little uncomfortably. His body sweetly ached in all of the right places, but his back hurt and the bruises from the car ride home were beginning to make themselves known.

Jared stared at him for a minute, his expression tightening. "When are you gonna get it into your head to ask for what you need, Jen?"

"What?" Jensen asked in confusion.

Jared picked up a pill bottle sitting on the counter and popped two pills into his palm. He set them down in front of Jensen. "Take 'em. I know you need 'em."

Jensen looked at them and realized that Jared was right. He took the pills, downing them with a gulp of coffee. "Well?" he prodded.

"Chad was released from custody about an hour ago," Jared said, sitting down at the table. "Because he was in jail, he couldn't have shot at you at the funeral. What's more, Chad's the one who called 911 and reported the fire."

Jensen's eyebrows shot up. "He did?"

Jared nodded. "The forensics team was able to confirm the voice on the call. There was a witness that saw him do it, too. Chad didn't want to use his cellphone and have the call possibly traced. So he bothered a neighbor down the street. No way he could have killed Chris."

"Then who shot at Danneel and me?" Jensen asked.

"We don't know," Jared responded gravely.

"That means we're back where we started," Jensen stated, feeling uneasy.

"Yeah," Jared agreed somberly. "You're still in danger, Jen. But I promise you we'll catch this fucker. I won't let anything happen to you."

Jensen covered one of Jared's hands with his own. "I know you won't," he said softly. He took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. Something had occurred to him, but he was sure Jared wasn't going to like it. "I have an idea."

~.~.~

"This is a fucking bad idea, Jensen," Jared said, teeth clenching, hands tight on the steering wheel.

"You've already said that." Jensen eyed the speedometer. The needle was climbing and the trees in the neighborhood were whipping by in a blur. "You need to slow down, Jared."

"What I need to do is turn this fucking car around and get your ass back home," Jared growled, but Jensen noticed the car's momentum was slowing down.

"Look, Jared," he started to say.

"No, you look, Jensen!" Jared's voice was whip sharp, the words cutting through the air. "This is a fucking bad idea!" he repeated. "We shouldn't be doing this."

"I know you don't like it," Jensen said. He held up a hand as Jared opened his mouth to protest. "I get it, okay? I know you're worried about me being out in the open."

"That's not all I'm worried about," Jared muttered, a dark look on his face.

"What else is there?" Jensen asked, confused.

Jared shot him an incredulous look before returning his eyes to the road. "What else? Fuck, Jen, you're pushing yourself too hard. Did you even think of that? The doctor said you can't force memory."

"I have to do this," Jensen said resolutely. "Chris is dead and I know who killed him. I just have to remember!"

"I know you're frustrated, Jen," Jared's tone softened, "but I don't think this is the right way to go about this," he paused. "What happens if you do remember? What then?"

"What do you mean?" Jensen frowned at him. "Then we catch a murderer and Chris will rest in peace."

"I want to get this fucker as much as you do, but Chris is gone. It's not his rest that's gonna be the problem," Jared said quietly.

Jensen heaved a sigh. "What are you saying, Jared?"

"Maybe it's a good thing you don't remember," Jared said. "What you don't remember can't hurt you."

"Oh, Jared," Jensen said softly, reaching out a hand. Jared took it, clasping their hands together. "It already hurts."

Jared squeezed his hand. "Yeah, I know. It's just that..."

"You're trying to protect me," Jensen finished for him. "That means a lot, Jared, but I need to remember. I need to know. Then maybe I can...well," he looked away, wondering if he was an asshole for even uttering his next words. "Move on." He looked over at Jared. "That's not bad, is it?" he asked, voice cracking. "For wanting to move on, I mean."

Jared brought the back of Jensen's hand to his cheek. "Moving on doesn't mean forgetting," he said. "Chris will always be our friend and he'll always be with us in spirit."

Jensen nodded, too choked up to speak.

Jared kissed the back of his hand. "If you're sure you want to do this, Jen, then I'm with you every step of the way."

"I'm sure," Jensen said firmly as the remains of Chris' house came into view.

Jared pulled over and parked.

Jensen stared up at the house. Most of the front of it was intact, but the side that Jensen could see was blackened, a whole chunk of it missing. The roof was gone, too. Nothing but a skeleton and a charred one at that. He swallowed heavily, reaching for the door handle.

Jared touched his arm. "If it gets too much for you," he said, "we're out of there."

Jensen nodded and got out of the car.

Police tape criss-crossed the front door, but Jensen just pulled it away and stepped inside the house.

The scent of burnt and damp air immediately assailed him. His stomach twisted queasily.

"You okay?" Jared asked, putting a hand to the small of Jensen's back.

Jared's presence steadied him. "Yeah," Jensen answered. "Just feeling stupid. I'm a freakin' firefighter and the air's getting to me."

Jared looked down at him, sadness etched around his eyes. "This wasn't your typical fire, Jen. You're bound to feel a little upset."

"I don't have time to be upset!" Jensen brushed angrily at his eyes as they watered. What the fuck was wrong with him?

"Hey, hey," Jared said, facing him. He planted his warm hands on Jensen's shoulders, holding him. "Let's just take things slow, okay? Keep your eyes on my face, Jen. That's it," he murmured as Jensen focused on Jared's eyes. "Keep looking at me. When you're ready then look around."

Jensen nodded, staring at the love of his life, drinking in the soft hazel eyes. A calm settled over him and felt himself steady. He stood there a few more minutes, gathering strength from Jared before letting out a breath. "I'm ready."

Jared nodded, stepping away. He kept a hand anchored to Jensen's shoulder for which Jensen was grateful.

Jensen looked around the blackened room, noting the destroyed furniture. Puddles of water were everywhere from when his colleagues had sprayed the house.

It bothered him to see the ruins of Chris' life. His friend had lived here, cooked here, played music. On more than one occasion, the three of them had shared beers on the very couch Jensen was now staring at.

Jensen took in a shuddering breath, feeling a tightness in his chest.

"You're okay," Jared murmured, squeezing his shoulder. "You're okay."

Jensen nodded.

Then he looked at the stairs and his heart froze in his chest.

The upper part of the staircase was gone. The bottom half was a charred, soggy mess of wood and carpet.

Jensen stared and tried to breathe. The smoke was thick and heavy. It clogged up his lungs and made his eyes water. It was so hard to see, but he had to try. Chris was up there somewhere.

"Chris?" he called, then coughed. The smoke was insidious, choking him. "Chris!" He rubbed at his eyes, sure that he could see a figure emerging from the smoke at the top of the stair. "Chris," he cried. "Hold on. I'm coming!" He reached for the broken bannister.

"No!" Someone shouted, grabbing his hand.

"Let go! I have to get upstairs!" Jensen tried tugging his hand free, but the grip was implacable.

"No! Jen!"

Jensen's vision began to swim from lack of oxygen. He heaved for breath, the bands around his chest twisting tighter and tighter.

Chris was reaching for him.

"I'm coming!" Jensen called again. His teary eyes widened as he caught sight of a figure looming up behind Chris. "No!"

"Jensen, snap out of it! Jensen!" Something hard slapped his cheek.

Jensen reeled back. Chris was still looking at him pleadingly and the man behind him was getting closer.

But they were beginning to fade.

"No," Jensen choked out, reaching for them uselessly. "Come back."

He was pulled away, tucked against something warm and familiar.

"Jen! Come on. Come back to me." The voice was thick with emotion.

The arms around him were gentle. Jensen felt like he was being cocooned.

"J—Jared?" Jensen said, voice brittle, as he looked up into Jared's concerned face. "What happened?"

"Flashback," Jared said grimly. "You were so lost in it I almost couldn't reach you."

Jensen touched Jared's cheek tenderly. "You'll always be able to reach me."

"Yeah, well," Jared said gruffly. "Scared the fuck out of me. We're leaving."

Jensen didn't move from the safe confines of Jared's embrace. He looked back up at the destroyed stairwell. "I only saw Chris."

"You didn't see the murderer?" Jared questioned.

"Chris was reaching for me," Jensen remembered. "I had to get to him. Then, then I saw this man standing right behind him. He wasn't that much taller than Chris. I—I could barely see him, Jared," Jensen whispered, "but I did see him."

"You know who he is?" Jared asked sharply.

"Yes and no," Jensen said slowly. "He's familiar to me. I...I think I know him, but his face is in shadow, obscured by smoke. I can't get a clear look at him!"

"Take it easy," Jared murmured.

"It's right there," Jensen said, frustrated. "I just need the picture in my head to focus! I know him, Jared. I know who killed Chris, but it's just not clear!"

Jensen looked back up the stairs again, eyes narrowing. But it didn't help. The murderer was still a mystery and Jensen felt like a failure. He slumped in Jared's arms. "Why can't I fucking remember?"

Jared brushed a hand over Jensen's hair. "Trauma," he said.

"I'm tired of that fucking excuse," Jensen retorted.

"Too bad," Jared shot back. "It's what it is. The memory will come to you or it won't. Either way, stop beating yourself up about it."

"I just want this to be over, Jared," Jensen said earnestly. "I can't take the not knowing and I don't want to be afraid anymore. How can we have a life together with this shit hanging over our heads?"

"We'll find a way, Jen," Jared promised, kissing Jensen's temple. "It won't always be like this."

"I hope you're right," Jensen murmured, suddenly exhausted. Maybe Jared had been right about this and it hadn't been a good idea to come here. "Let's go home."

"Yeah," Jared answered, and still keeping Jensen within the circle of one arm, led them outside into the brilliant sunshine where Jensen felt much better.

Jensen settled in the passenger seat, waiting for Jared to slide in next to him and start the car. He looked one last time up at the shell of Chris' house and silently vowed to his friend that they would bring his murderer to justice.

The engine roared to life and Jared eased back onto the road. "Want me to stop and grab us something to eat?"

Jensen leaned his head against the window. "Not hungry." He could feel Jared's disapproval, but he ignored it. Food was the last thing on his mind.

"Maybe later," was all Jared said, flipping on the radio.

"Sounds good," Jensen said tiredly. He closed his eyes, letting the music settle over him like a familiar comfortable coat. "Sounds like Steve."

"Hmmm, I think you're right," Jared said.

"Poor Steve," Jensen mumbled. "Just when his career is taking off, he loses one of his best friends. Gotta be rough."

"It's been rough for everyone," Jared reminded him.

That was true. Jensen didn't think the ache he felt over Chris' death would ever go away. It was an emptiness that would never be filled. He glanced over at Jared, knowing that even if there was a hole in his heart where Chris used to be, he still had someone who surrounded him and buoyed him with love.

"What is it?" Jared asked, looking over at him before returning his eyes to the road.

Jensen shrugged, feeling a bit uncomfortable. He didn't want Jared thinking he was a big sap. "Just glad we're together now."

Jared reached over and took Jensen's hand in his own. "Me, too."

They pulled into Jared's driveway, Steve's song dying away as Jared shut off the engine.

"Okay," Jared said. "I want you to stay in the car while I run up to the house and open the door. I'll come back for you."

Jensen didn't think all of this ducking and weaving was necessary, but he knew arguing with Jared would get him nowhere. Jared could be mulish when he wanted to be and for Jensen, it just wasn't worth the effort. He nodded resignedly.

Jared gave him a lingering look then got out of the car and sprinted up to the house. In moments, the door was open again and Jared was running back to him, opening Jensen's car door before Jensen could open it himself.

"Ready?" Jared asked.

Jensen looked up and down the street, noting that it was quiet. "You don't expect me to run to the house, do you? There's no one around."

Jared looked at him grimly. "No, I don't expect you to run, but I do want to get into the house as quickly as possible. No need to make you an open target."

Jensen sighed and got out of the car. Just as he had done at Chris' house, Jared looped an arm around him and escorted him into the house.

Jared closed the door, tossing his keys onto the hallway table. He rubbed a hand over his face. "Fuck, I'm tired. How about we catch a nap?" he asked, eyebrow arching suggestively.

Jensen laughed, shaking his head. "Man, you're incorrigible."

"No, just horny," Jared countered.

"That's all you had to say, babe," Jensen muttered, leaning up to kiss him. The idea of being with Jared, cocooned in their bed, the world and all of its problems left outside, was appealing to Jensen. Just the idea made him feel better.

He deepened their kiss, rubbing himself against Jared's body.

For a few moments, the only sound in the room was their heavy breathing.

"Bed, now," Jensen murmured, tugging at Jared's hip.

"Yeah," Jared said, breath whispering across Jensen's lips. "Let me just lock up."

"Meet you in the bedroom." Jensen wiggled his hips.

Jared's groan and muttered, "fuck," followed him out of the room.

Entering Jared's room, he began pulling off his shirt, whistling Steve's song.

Jensen froze, his shirt hitting the ground. Steve's song. Steve. Oh god.

Breath quickening, Jensen became a blur of motion. He shot back down the hall, heading for the living room and Jared. "Hey, I remem---fuck!"

Jensen's eyes took in everything at once. Jared still by the front door, his hands in the air. Steve on the opposite side of the room with a gun pointed at him.

"Steve," Jensen said shakily, taking a step closer to him.

"Don't you fucking move, Jensen," Steve said harshly. "Or your boyfriend here dies."

"Steve, listen to me," Jensen pleaded. "You don't have to do this."

"I don't have to do this?" Steve's laugh was chilling. "Of course I do. You were gonna say you remembered, right?"

Jensen looked desperately at Jared, swallowing hard. He had to get them out of this, but how?

~.~.~

"You need to put the gun down," Jared said authoritatively, looking from Jensen to Steve. This situation had to be settled and soon. He was still disgusted with himself for having let Steve get the drop on him. He was a cop for chrissake.

"Shut the fuck up," Steve said in a deadly voice, his stance never wavering.

"Why did you kill Chris?" Jensen asked softly, edging closer to Steve.

Jared shot a look over at him. His attempt to distract Steve from Jensen was backfiring as Steve turned his focus to Jensen.

"He knew what I'd done," Steve said.

"What did you do?" Jensen pressed.

"What did I do?" Steve snarled at him. "You wanna know what I fucking did? I took his music. Lyrics, arrangements, all of it. Put my name on it. Made them mine."

Jensen slid a few inches closer and Jared wanted to scream at him, tell him to stop, but if he did, Steve would shoot Jensen for sure. So instead he kept quiet, his hand slowly edging toward his gun at his hip. He kept his eye on Steve, but the killer didn't seem to notice; he was too busy staring at Jensen and talking.

For once, Jared was grateful for the cliched criminal. As long as Steve was talking, he wasn't shooting. And it could all be used as evidence. A win-win situation.

"You stole his music and passed it along as your own," Jensen summed it up. "And you were making money off of it."

"You bet," Steve growled. "Lots of money. Chris had a few hits on his hands, but never did anything with those songs. I figured I should. So I did."

Jensen shook his head. "I can't believe you killed Chris over some stupid music."

"I needed the money," Steve responded.

"Chris was your best friend," Jensen suddenly yelled, causing both Steve and Jared to flinch. "And you fucking stabbed him, you son of a bitch."

While Jared couldn't deny the fact that his heart was pounding in his throat as Jensen antagonized Steve, he couldn't afford to miss the opportunity Jensen's outburst provided. Under the cover of Jensen's angry words, Jared slowly pulled out his gun.

"What are you doing?" Steve yelled.

Jared's eyes widened as Steve swung wildly back to him, finger twitching on the trigger of his gun. "Steve, take it easy."

Those were the wrong words.

"Take it easy?" Steve took a step toward him, eyes narrowed. "Put the fucking gun down!"

Jared knew he couldn't do that. He'd lose any chance of taking back control and bringing Steve down. He held his gun steady, his chin coming up. "You're under arrest, Steve."

"Fuck you!" Steve shouted.

Jared's finger tightened on the trigger.

"No!" Jensen yelled, moving toward Steve.

"No, Jen!" Jared jerked his gun to the side, the bullet meant for Steve slamming into the mirror in the living room. For one hysterical moment, he thought that breaking the mirror wasn't a good sign of things to come.

Jensen didn't turn, didn't stop. He crouched low, arms outstretched.

Steve was staring at Jared, eyes blazing. He squeezed the trigger and the gun went off.

Jared darted to the side. A wave of pure heat hit him high in the chest and he staggered back against the door. His gun dropped to the floor as a slow, numbing pain spread along his arm and shoulder. "Fuck," he gasped as warm blood saturated his skin and soaked into his shirt.

"Jared?" Jensen's voice was high-pitched and scared.

"I'm okay," Jared managed to croak out as he clasped a hand over the bleeding wound. He strangled back a moan of pain.

"Gonna fuckin' kill you, Jensen!" Steve growled.

There was a grunt and Jensen yelped in pain.

Jared looked around for his gun. Seeing it on the floor, he bent over to grab it and lost his balance. He tipped over onto the floor, slamming into the hard wood, jarring his arm. A scream tore from his lips, sight whiting out for a brief moment. When he could focus again, he was trembling all over, feeling both hot and cold.

"Give it up, Steve," Jensen gritted out, panting. "Not...going....to get...away with this."

"The fuck I'm not," Steve returned.

Another shot was fired.

"No!" Jared breathed. "Jensen!" His fingers scrambled across the floor toward his gun, but it was too far away. He gritted his teeth, vision starting to swim. Jensen needed him and was useless. Fucking useless!

"Jared?" Jensen's voice sounded far away.

Jared fumbled for his phone in his jacket pocket. If he couldn't provide Jensen back up he knew someone who could. His trembling fingers nearly missed the right button, but soon he had speed-dialed Mike. "Help," he managed to mutter into the phone, before it slipped out of his hand and clattered to the floor. He was losing all feeling in his arm and he couldn't seem to stay awake. "Jensen," he whispered.

Something fell and broke, glass shattering.

"No, Steve, No!"

"Jensen," Jared stuttered, trying to get up. Jensen was in trouble, but Jared couldn't move; couldn't see.

The gun went off again.

Jared's breath caught in his throat and he passed out.

~.~.~

Jared lay in his bed, piles of pillows fluffed up behind him. He had been dozing on and off all afternoon. With three days in the hospital and another two already spent at home, he had thought the days of needing painkillers were over. His body, however, had had other ideas. Any movement of his arm and shoulder still sent waves of agony through him. So he tried his best not to move and the pain pills did the rest.

"Hey, how are you feeling?" Jensen asked in a hushed whisper as he came into the room.

Jared smiled at him. "You don't have to whisper, babe."

Jensen looked sheepish. "Yeah, I guess not, huh?"

Jared shook his head, still smiling. Jensen had been taking care of him, never leaving his side. It was a nice feeling, being cared for. "I'm doing okay," he answered Jensen's question.

"Good," Jensen said, still standing uncertainly next to the bed. "Can I get you anything?"

Jared scowled. That was the only thing bad about this whole situation. Jensen refused to share a bed with him until he completely healed, claiming he didn't want to bump into Jared and hurt him.

"What?" Jensen asked defensively. "What is it?"

Jared schooled his features not wanting to upset Jensen any further. Instead, he patted the bed beside him. "I want you right here," he said coaxingly.

"Uh, I'm not sure that's a good idea," Jensen said, taking a step back.

"Damn it, Jensen," Jared exploded. "Get your ass over here."

"Jared," Jensen said, but slowly climbed onto the bed anyway. "Relax," he soothed.

"I'd be more relaxed if you were here beside me," Jared mumbled in irritation.

"I'm right next you!" Jensen protested.

"Took you long enough." Jared was still pouting. He hadn't been able to hold Jensen for a whole week and he was fast coming to realize that that made him cranky. Really cranky. He held open his arm.

"Oh, no." Jensen shook his head. "Definitely not a good idea."

"Jensen," Jared's voice rumbled dangerously. "If you don't let me hold you in the next five seconds, I'm gonna get out of this bed."

Jensen's eyes widened comically. "You wouldn't dare."

Jared lifted an eyebrow and kicked away the sheet covering him.

"Whoa! Whoa! Okay," Jensen said, giving in. "Geez, you can be such a pushy bastard when you aren't feeling well."

"Damn straight," Jared said smugly as Jensen curled up beside him, laying his head on Jared's uninjured shoulder. He sighed contentedly as he held Jensen close. "Fuck, I needed this."

"What?" Jensen asked, looking up at him. The cut along his brow where Steve had hit him was still an angry red, but the butterfly bandages were gone. He would have a black eye for a few more days yet, but Jared could tell it was already starting to heal. "You mean the snuggling?"

"Yeah, I mean the snuggling," Jared said.

Jensen smiled and snuggled back against him, tracing invisible patterns on Jared's chest.

Jared tightened his arm around him, kissing his temple.

"What's going to happen to Steve?" Jensen asked in the quiet.

"Well, once he's out of the hospital he'll be charged with one count of murder, two counts of attempted murder, and one count of arson," Jared explained.

"I can't believe I shot him," Jensen said quietly.

"It was an accident," Jared murmured into Jensen's hair.

"I could have killed him," Jensen said, voice troubled.

"It didn't happen that way," Jared said firmly. "You saved both our lives, Jen. Steve's going to pay for his crimes. Let's leave it at that."

"If you say so," Jensen said.

"I say so," Jared said. "It's over now, Jen. We can start putting this behind us and concentrate on our future."

Jensen was silent for a long time. Finally he said, "I wish Chris was around to see us now. He always said we made a good couple."

"He was right," Jared said. "He was right."

"Love you, Jared," Jensen mumbled, the words slowly leaving his mouth.

Jared knew Jensen was falling asleep. These last two weeks had taken their toll and they both needed the rest. "Love you, too, Jen."

Jensen was warm and heavy against him, shuffling closer as he let out a sleepy breath. "Can' keep my eyes open."

"Then don't," Jared said quietly, lethargy creeping over him. "Sleep. I've got you and I'm never letting go."

"Got you back," Jensen murmured already half asleep.

"There was never any doubt about that." Jared's eyes closed.

The setting sun cast hues of deep gold over them, warming them as they slept.

The End.


End file.
